《 texts from edo. 》

[justaways]

you know the deal.
other canons welcome, but i figured it would primarily just be us horrible people.

Comments

gintoki sakata

[naturallywavy]

1.) false alarm. im still invincible.
2.) shut up. passing out is just a way of my body protecting my liver.
3.) also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know.
4.) i feel sick, i feel like death crawled up my ass and died. that kind of sick. this is all your fault.
5. _{[ text him! ]}

4

[mayora13]

How the hell is it my fault? [He doesn't remember doing anything to cause this! He doesn't remember anything at all...!]

3

[bombdemon]

That was not exactly what I had in mind when I said you should make it more realistic.

kintoki sakata

[goldenballs]

1. Someone wrote that I'm a whore in one of the bathroom stalls. I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome.
2. I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer I drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
3. Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
4. Why wouldn't you just let me ride the washing machine?

4

[pachintoki]

dont kid yourself neither of us could figure out how that woulda worked

hijikata toushirou

[mayora13]

1 - You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield

2 - I started making the bed while they were still laying on it naked. I succeed in case you were wondering

3 - Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on

1

[bombdemon]

I was. Caught it all on tape. Your superiors should be finding it in the mail right about now.

2

[pachintoki]

i was sleeping in that futon and youre rude as hell

3 *blows u a kiss*

[gorillatama]

but that'd be unpredictable! what ppl love about our friendship is how predictable it is
also they love my buns

takasugi shinsuke

[shikomizue]

1 - For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the festival's decorations

2 - The only way you would please me would be by setting yourself on fire

3 - If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm stabbing someone

1

[bombdemon]

Aha! Finally getting a change of heart, huh? Feeling like answering for your crimes? Good call, good call. I am cheering you on from a safe distance.

2

[pachintoki]

shut the hell up is this a middle school feud because thats how intelligent your insult was

3Z verse - takasugi shinsuke

[toukai]

1 - I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.

2 - I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a gas station at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out

3 - Well I went on a rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

2

[nobleofmadness]

WHAT DID YOU DO NOW

zuuuuuura

[bakudanma]

1.) Successfully defrauded the country government. What have you done today?
2.) Meet me at the zoo at sunrise. We're going to do this.
3.) I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressed as a crayon. Please help me.
4.) If I bought everything from my search history for the past week I would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. I say we do it.
5.) _{[ text himmmm ]}

3

[shikomizue]

That costume should be a good disguise.

Or are you worried they'll recognize your colorful personality?

4

[pachintoki]

only if i can wear the wolf costume AND the vest

saitou shimaru

[tightlipped]

1.) The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer, then I got nervouz.
2.) Do you want to talk about dinosaurz?
3.) I'm sitting out back eating an artichoke. Please come find me, I'm scared.
4.) Speaking of boners I learned how to say "jizz everywhere" in sign language.

4

[mayora13]

You better have cleaned it up.

Imai Nobume

[donutdaughter]

1. I vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop I drunk-dialed because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

2. No one parties like me. I stole a Shinsengumi coat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as apology.

3. youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful

4. Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently

1

[naraku]

You took care of him, I assume.

Sasaki Isaburo

[mixedsignal]

1. we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

2. Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. It surely puts writing in the snow to shame Σ(￣□￣lll)

3. normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees. ◝( ′ㅂ`)و ̑̑

4. I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me. (●´⌓`●)

4

[shikomizue]

I hope that doesn't mean you will be neglecting those who do.

Yoshida Shouyou

[pinkysworn]

1. i went around feeding all the high kids pretzels i'm like their god now.

2. you kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying they would never think to look here

3. some guy just got out of his chair quietly. laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. he must have had a rough night.

4. I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

2

[yaburi]

He'd eaten at least fifty by that point. I was helping.

[pachintoki]

1 - seius question. does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

2 - i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting

3 - You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

4 - The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have

5 - I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?

2

[bombdemon]

WERE YOU FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY, GINTOKI?!

One more useless perm

[permboy]

1. If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob. And by one day I mean once every two weeks.

2. Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.

3. Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen

4. Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

5. [ Text him. Like with this one tbh. ]

i deliver...

[pachiboy]

YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!

Teenaged useless perm

[shirogaki]

1. just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.

2. I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.

3. See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket

4. We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

5. [ Text him? ]

4+3

[nobleofmadness]

...you're moving out?

[ if texts could be haughty, this would be it. sorry Gintoki his brain can't process you of all people considering him 'boyfriend' and it's probably your fault. ]

Drunken terminator

[sekimorinashi]

1. I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian

2. He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.

3. This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.

4. I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine.

5. [ Text her? ]

5

[pachintoki]

tell your boobs to stop staring at me