bonercity | 《 texts from edo. 》

[He doesn't want to think about any experience regarding jizz! He doesn't want to have one, either, which is why he's so insistent on this cleaning thing.

He'll try to not think about the mess, in the time between responses.]

So long as it stays that way. [Nope he remembered after all. At least he's less angry about it now.]

Rest assured, the kitchen has been properly cleaned and sanitized.
You do not have to worry about any jizzzzzzzz.
_{[ wait, why did this happen in the kitchen.. what exactly happened in the kitchen. ]}

[Okay so NOW THAT he doesn't have to worry about any 'jizzzzzzz', he's going to start worrying about what happened.

Not that he wants to. It's a while before he responds again. More specifically, it's after he goes to the kitchen to get a new bottle of mayo.]

You made the other person help too, right? [He's not one for gossip. Nope. Never. But he's absolutely lowkey trying to figure out who else was involved.]

_{[ Why does it matter, Toshi? He's a good person who keeps the rules. You're trying to gossip, aren't you? You're trying to gossip with the mute. ]}

There was assistance.
Who has helped me clean up the red stains in the kitchen beforez.
_{[ red stains... blood stains?? Why does everything happen in the kitchen? ]}

[Saitou may be a pure soul who wouldn't dream of breaking the rules, but SOMEONE corrupted him with jizz (in sign language, but still). So that's why Hijikata is asking. To punish the asshole who smudged Saitou's clean record.

No he's totally gossiping.]

Oh? They were that helpful? Tell me who they were so I can give them a raise, then. [Bloodstains weren't quite as uncommon as one would hope, given this bunch of men. ~~Especially Sougo~~]

_{[ What if he really doesn't give them a raise? What if he gives them a raise and it isn't satisfying enough? Is he going to be the one who is to blame? Then will this person who has assisted him actually hate him? But then.. if he doesn't tell Hijikata, will Hijikata hate him too?

Radio silence. ]}

[Oi! The whole silence thing doesn't have to transfer to texts! You were texting just fine a minute ago - don't give him this!

Not that he'd ever hate you for it. It's just normal. Being too quiet was better than being too chatty, so far as Hijikata was concerned.]

I'm doing the paperwork now. I just need a name.

[Not that he's going to stop trying here...]

_{[ A name? He needs a name? A name for this person that has helped him. He's trying to give them a raise— that's what he says— and Saitou believes him, somewhat, but there is that crippling fear of maybe Hijikata is lying..

But then, Saitou comes to this sudden realization... he cannot remember the person who helped him their name..! Oh my god, ohhhh my god. Can he just make something up? But if he made something up, Hijikata would know. If he doesn't, though, he'll look pretty stupid.. Hijikata will judge him, for sure!!

In a moment of panic, he sends out a message: ]}

This is an automated mezzage.
The person you are trying to contact cannot be reached.

Please try again laterz.

[Oh he's going to break your trust. That almost makes him feel bad, like some sort of villain stepping on a cinnamon roll or something. But then he gets that message and has to resist chucking his phone across the room.]

Cut the crap.

[Wait wait. Too forceful? He'll send another message.]

That wasn't meant for you. Anyway - text me that name when you get a chance, or I'll have to go digging for it myself.

_{[ Cut the crap..? Did Hijikata know he was in the bathroom right now? What if he knows? What if he.. is near the bathroom? He saw him go in, didn't he? Quickly, he flushes and almost forgets to wipe himself and wash his hands cause he wants to get out of there as quickly as possible.

He rushes out, only to look down at the next message.
Oh. That's okay.. that's okay.. but this still puts him in the predicament of not knowing who assisted him..

Saitou just.. decides to not answer, quickly rushing down the hallway to head back to the Third Unit office. ]}

[As he goes rushing down the hallway, he'll brush shoulders with the vice-chief himself. Hijikata tilts his head and moves with the blow, not paying it much mind.

He's more concerned about why Saitou appeared to be in such a rush.]

Oi. [His hands are still in his pockets, his posture is still as relaxed as it got, but he's absolutely looking at you like he wants you to stop, Saitou.]

_{[ Well, shucks. He's caught. Did he actually forget to flush? Did he smell up the bathroom? There are a thousand reasons for Hijikata to say such intimidating words to him (read: just oi), and his mind is rapidly flipping through all of them.

Did he leave the oven on? Did he not take his clothes out of the dryer? Was his shoelace untied?

Saitou braces himself, almost like he's in a stance to attack and ...— ]}

_{[ —kneels down on one knee to tie his shoelace..
Thank you, Demon Commander! That could have been catastrophic. ]}

[That...

wasn't at all what he was talking about. Hijikata hadn't even noticed Saitou's shoe come untied. Here he was, feeling the anticipation of a fight for a reason he didn't understand, only to be thrown off by some shoelaces!

If this was 1999, he would have fallen on his face.]

You... [A pause. Not because he's trying to make you sweat, but because he's trying to be sneaky about getting this person's name.] There's a mess in the training hall. You look busy, so I won't tell you to help clean it.

Do you know anyone else I can ask? [POINTED STARING.]

_{[ Somebody has been making a mess training hall? Who the hell has the right to make a mess in the training hall? Why aren't people picking up after themselves? This is annoying— infuriating.

Saitou reaches behind himself and pulls out both of his blades, marching right past Hijikata with a firm look on his face.. a look of determination. Was he out to discipline the people who have been making a mess of things? Was he going to bring down the law with his own blades against his own comrades and cause these mess making habits to cease..? Did this anger him this much to put his job on the line?

He stops right by the cleaning closet to—
put his swords by the door and open it. ]}

_{[ Out he appears from the closet, wielding two brooms instead and holds them, ready to clean and assist!
With a dip of his head to Hijikata, he's going to put them in his pack behind him and head on his way to the training hall to be helpful and clean..!

Hijikata, you're getting absolutely nowhere. ]}

Edited 2016-01-16 07:03 (UTC)

《 texts from edo. 》

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