《 texts from edo. 》

[justaways]

you know the deal.
other canons welcome, but i figured it would primarily just be us horrible people.

Comments

[gorillatama]

Why are you threatening me-- they're sweat pants! Nothing that says juicy on the ass!

[CONFUSED???]

[tightlipped]

<sub>[ Why was he threatening him indeed? It was for his own safety! The safety of his sweat pants that Saitou knew he might mess up and ruin with his constant restroom trips. No, he wouldn't allow such a fate fall upon his chief! It's for our own good, Kondo-san!

A blade is pulled from the back of his pack and he points it directly at Kondo. He nudges it towards Kondo, implying he should probably back away. His other hand holds up a note: ]</sub>

I don't deserve need your charity.
_{[ what an odd note. ]}

[gorillatama]

There's poop on there. Don't threaten me with a poop knife! I'll take you down.

[sternly now

he will Not be intimidated by a poop knife]

[tightlipped]

<sub>[ Oh, shit. Literally.
In a nervous fit, he figures out a way to get rid of this blade— it needs to go, far, far away. Where he cant see or smell the feces on that.
He hurls it, and it goes whizzing past Kondo's shoulder, but doesn't hit him. It's a good throw, worthy of a 10/10 and guaranteed to kill anybody who gets hit with it.

Thankfully, though, it lands straight in the police station behind him and sticks in the wall.
Ohhh, shit. He's too upset to stop and write a note of apology, so he just stands there, frozen, with an unreadable, firm gaze. ]</sub>

[gorillatama]

[Crickets chirp. The murmurs from the others inside drones on. Kondo clears his throat.]

Why don't I go get you a towel, too. Then you can.......deal with that.

[sympathy radiates off him in droves]