【CLOSED/NSFW】☆ two idiots, one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[bakudanma]

 
▶ CATCH-ALL SAKAZURA SINS WITH kaihentai 

or something ...

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[kaihentai]

[Is that why Sakamoto likes space so much?

Everywhere you go, the skies really are clear.

That and despite being lost in such a wide expanse of nothing but cold, seemingly dead air, he knows that there is so much life in it... You just need to know where to look.]

Ah, Zura? Are you here already?

[The merchants saunters in, smiling though it's the dead of winter. Snow is caught in his hair and lashes, though he smiles as if he doesn't feel cold at all. Sakamoto runs a hand through those matted curls, shaking off a few snowflakes, his cheeks red from the harsh winds.

His expression looks so innocent, despite everything that's happened today.]

Maaaan~! It's so, so cold outside!

Aha! My snot froze.

[The man looks over at his friend, surprised, but clearly amused.]

H'ohhhh? What's this?

You goin' on some kinda panty raid?

[He may also secretly be praying you don't find the one panty in his drawer, Zura. Hey, this guy has been to a lot of crazy alien sex parties.]

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ Oh! He definitely hears Sakamoto's presence when he comes in from the outside, and it does encourage Katsura to maybe come inside now, too, especially since his cheeks were beginning to redden from the cold too. Katsura peeps his head inside, tucking his arms in his yukata sleeves and hanging in the doorway.

Still, it was pretty tonight with the snow gracing the ground. Instantly, his voice goes to scolding mother:]</sub>

It's not a panty raid, it's winter cleaning. Sakamoto, you're entirely too unorganized. I had to organize your things for you. _{[ nobody was making you do this?? ]} How is it you can live like this? <sub>[ quietly: First you don't eat your green peppers, and now this. Do I need to put the foot down? ]

[ that probably wasn't true??? why is Katsura being so huffy at him for no reason?
Also, he did find that embarrassing underwear, but didn't seem too surprised by it. ]</sub>

[kaihentai]

So you did! Thank you.

[Sakamoto is a strange man. He's endeared by things like this. Zura wants to touch his things, so what? It's because he's sentimental.

They both are.

Sakamoto scuttles over to Zura, geta clacking against the ground. He scoops up the other Joui into a big hug from behind, burying his nose in the other's dark locks.]

So, so! Since you've spent so much time doin' all of this... Which one's your favorite?

[IS HE ASKING WHICH PAIR OF UNDERWEAR IS ZURA'S FAVORITE...

GOD?]

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ He hears that scuttling behind him and can assume what is about to happen is going to happen, so Katsura only tenses his shoulders. 3, 2, 1...
Perfect timing, as Zura calculates. He jumps slightly at feeling Tatsuma's hands a little lower than what he was expecting, along with his nose burying into his hair. It was.. positive attention that was nothing new for Sakamoto, but Katsura has been standoffish about things like this ever since they were younger. Sakamoto is accustomed to him pushing him away sometimes.

Embarrassing.
He scoffs and slaps at Sakamoto's hands, but that's the only thing he tries to do in attempt to get him off. ]</sub>

I'm not answering that question..!

[kaihentai]

No?

[Sakamoto coos into Zura's ear, tempted to kiss the lobe. He moves his hands over Zura's, fingers trickling over the wrists, tracing gentle little circles around whatever he can feel.]

But I'm curious! I wanna know which ones you spent the most time touchin'.

[u filthy piece of shit.]

Then I can wear 'em for ya.

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ This is.. different. It really is, from Sakamoto's usual friendly and physical behavior. Did he also feel different too after the time they spent together last night? Katsura was a bit hopeful of that— not like he would say something like that so easily, but..

A very faint flush rushes to his face when he feels his hands toyed with, not batting them away.
.. why is he wanting to wear whatever Katsura wants? ]</sub>

—The silk ones were acceptable, especially with your kind of taste.
_{[ why is he going along with it ....!??? ]}

Though, a traditional kind of undergarment is something everyone should admire..

[kaihentai]

As expected, you like the fanciest thing! Ahaha, but, but-

[He squeezes Zura's actual hands now, with both of his owns.]

If you're talkin' about traditional stuff, why not just go back to the start? Back in the old days, hell! They didn't wear anythin'.

[don't whistle u whore]

[bakudanma]

_{[ Of course. ]}

Sakamoto, it is against my character type to be so crudely immodest. Even in the swimsuit episodes, I cover myself.
Besides, they are more comfortable than your silly boxers— there are not any elastic bands to worry about. There is better blood flow that way.

_{[ blood flow towards where.. don't you dare say it. ]}

[kaihentai]

[Ah, but he was immodest last night.

Sakamoto hardly ever feels embarrassed when he's thinking vulgar thoughts, and right now is no different. But the look he's giving Zura at the moment isn't lecherous, not at all, there is sweetness in his eyes.

How can something so beautiful be disgusting? Sakamoto doesn't understand.

It's only filthy if one person isn't having fun, isn't that right?]

Oh yeah? That's funny.

[He was listening, really. But he'll cut his friend some slack tonight.]

You know what else gets blood flowin' real hard? Booze! You want some?

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ Katsura pulls his hands away from Sakamoto's hold, allowing them to settle in his sleeves for now with a gentle huff. He glances over his shoulder at Sakamoto's suggestion with a raised brow, making eye contact with him. It wasn't uncommon, by any means, for Sakamoto to offer him something to drink— it happened during the war; it happens now. He can't help but think that maybe he's wanting them both to fall into some kind of silly state and start messing around again but..

Katsura doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he's prepared for just that.

He lifts his chin slightly, a delicate and small smile teasing the very ends of his lips. ]</sub>

—Was it really that terrible of a day for you?
_{[ Maybe he shouldn't have asked that, but.. he cannot help but wonder sometimes what kind of stress his friend goes through on a daily basis. ]}

1/2

[kaihentai]

[He stops to stare for a moment, surprised, even though it's only a flicker, a fragment of a second-]

[kaihentai]

Terrible? Nah!

[He idly rubs the back of his neck with one nervous hand.]

Don't think I've ever really had one of those days, haha! Not in a while.

[Liar.]

[bakudanma]

_{[ Katsura looks up at the sky again, allowing a small moment of silence to pass. His eyes catch glimpse of a soaring ship that disappears into the clouds as he gathers his thoughts before turning around to face Sakamoto, looking up at the taller man. ]}

That is a pity.
I know of a great stress reliever— should you be interested in such a thing.

_{[ With that, he pulls his hands out of his sleeves and lifts one, brushing the edge of his thumb right above Sakamoto's brows, pushing some of his curly fringe out of the way. Small, little touches; he loved giving those to people he genuinely cared about. ]}

[kaihentai]

[Why is he blushing?

This is all very stupid.]

Now, I didn't say I wasn't stressed-

[bakudanma]

Ah, good. Because I know of just the thing—
<sub>[ Katsura says, brushing past Sakamoto to go back inside of the inn room, the edges of his fingers sweeping over Tatsuma's chest and around his arm as he shuffles back in and past his friend, heaving a little breath.

Brr. It was cold out there and a lot warmer in here. He seems to be busying about the room, humming (always a good sign) as he looks for something.
You know, if they're going to do this, they're going to need everything that is essential. Fortunately, Katsura has planned ahead. ]</sub>

Sakamoto— you can get the drink and I'll get everything else we'll need.
_{[ How bold. ]}

1/2

[kaihentai]

But they're gettin' us the silverware! O-oi, Zura...

[Sakamoto picks up the hotel phone, eyeing his friend curiously. Despite everything that transpired last night, and the passionate but very imaginary fantasies that crept into his head during work that morning, he doesn't know if they'll be doing anything like that again.

Zura had been comforted in the most intimate way possible, and the merchant is fine with that. He had done his friend a service! And he shouldn't expect anything more.

Why does he want more, then?

Sakamoto dials the hotel lobby.]

Ah, hello? Yes, yes! Hi! This is Sakamoto Tatsuma of the Kai-en-ta-

["Sakamoto-san, we would like to make a personal request. As you make a habit of inviting unsolicited guests to your-"]

2/2

[kaihentai]

[Quietly, he places the phone back on the receiver, blinking more than once.]

...Did I dial the wrong number?

[WHY IS HE THE ONE WHO LOOKS CONFUSED???]

1.2

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ Katsura is oblivious to whatever was said on the other line as he pauses his search for their essential items for the evening to fuss a bit with his hair, eventually pulling it out of being tied and letting it free.

They were really going to do something.. weren't they?
He shook his hair out, fingers threading through parts of it as he looks at Sakamoto. ]</sub>

Remember to dial in by 'one.' _{[ He holds up a single finger to emphasize. ]}
Would you care for me to do it?
<sub>[ doesn't matter, he's coming over right by Sakamoto anyway and standing right near him.

Oh, he smelled pretty. Like a bunch of flowers and perfume that were lingering from his work earlier that day. Zura picks up the phone and merely stands there after dialing, allowing it to ring for a moment. ]</sub>

2.2

[bakudanma]

_{[ Though, as soon as the inn personnel answer, and Katsura greets the lobby with an ah, hello, it only takes a few seconds before he slams the phone down in a bit of sudden fury, all the while exclaiming: ]}

IT'S NOT "SIR", IT'S KATSURA..!!

_{[ ah.. the constant frustration when Zura talks to professional personnel. ]}

[kaihentai]

H-hey, Zura!

[Sakamoto claps a hand on his friend's shoulder.]

It's probably best not ta yell... That person has probably had a long day, y'know? Take it easy!

[bakudanma]

Nonsense! I've had a long day too!

_{[ Apparently his day is more important? Apparently.
Katsura dials in, again and before even a word gets out, he starts off with: ]}

It's Katsura— Katsura Kotarou, the leader of an Anti-Foreigner Faction! _{[ just out yourself as a criminal completely??? ]} I am here with.. — J*ckie Ch*n _{[ but don't out Sakamoto out at all? ]} and we both demand room service! Please, speak to Mr. Ch*n and respect his request!

_{[ He holds out the phone to Sakamoto, looking at him expectantly as he awaits for him to take it. ]}

[kaihentai]

[And Sakamoto does take it, although he's quiet before he responds:]

Zura.

[A beat.]

I think they're callin' the police.

1.2

[bakudanma]

2.2

[bakudanma]

H—How could I have been so easily foiled...!? _{[ nobody foiled him?? you outed yourself by your own stupidity and not another person's wit??? ]}

Damn!
THOSE BAKUFU DOGS LOVE J*CKIE CH*N!! EVERYONE KNOWS IT!

_{[ Instantly, he's in a panic and begins to rush about, gathering any thing that might possibly be his in a fluster. ]}

[kaihentai]

[...He's dialing again.]

Honestly, can I just get a bottle of wine? Please.

It's been a long day. They're not on their way over, are they? Ohhhh! So you haven't made the call?

[Sakamoto nods serenely.]

If that's the case, how much do I pay you? Not to tell, I mean.

[He tilts his head to the side.]

I see! You can just put it on the company card. Thank you!