[ Katsura lets out a sigh. One thing was certain: they both never took their eyes off something when they really focused on it. Katsura was focused on saving Japan, but Sakamoto's goal was much bigger and much more complicated. He commended Tatsuma for that, but didn't find it something that could ever be accomplished.
Because Tatsuma wanted to save the entire universe. It was absolutely selfless, where Katsura was a bit selfish in his ways.
It feels good; feeling his friend's fingers rub into his tight shoulders. Katsura feels his own arm looping around Sakamoto's back and around his waist just so he could be a little closer to him.
[Sakamoto understands that his goal will never be achieved within his lifetime, or ever perhaps, but this is why it's what he aims for. This way, he will always be working towards something.]
I dunno why I got all excited, talkin' it up like that!
[He huddles closer to Zura. Maybe they shouldn't be touching like this, they have before, but that was in the midst of rain and sleet and snow with little to cover themselves with but each other. Sakamoto turns red not knowing why, not understanding that he's embarrassed because this is something lovers do more often than friends.]
I know you love this place.
[Zura will never come to space with him. This is temporary.]
[ No, it doesn't encourage Katsura to leave the place he has devoted himself to in the least, but it does get his mind going and thinking idly on Sakamoto's ideas and goals. A small chuff of laughter escapes his lips at the mere idea of everyone living in harmony and getting along— though to Sakamoto he's just chuckling at something unexplained. That's just not how it goes and it'll never be that way. It's something he wishes too, but he has his mind set on more realistic dreams.
Sakamoto confirms exactly what he is thinking. He loves this place too much.
Zura's cheeks are also red, but it's mainly from beginning to feel more of the buzz. He isn't one to drink very much, but isn't one against drinking either. He finds enjoyment in it too, even if he may turn right back around and tell others how it is poison to the soul.
He reaches over Sakamoto, placing his palm that was around his friend on the bed to steady himself while the other hand and stretches it to obtain the glass. How very elegant.
Then, he simmers right back into his cozy seat against Tatsuma, idly sipping from his third drink. ]
—I know you love space. [ He says quietly. He knows he could never get Sakamoto back here; back to join his group of rebels to change Japan. He's not sure what good any of it means to Sakamoto anymore since.. he can't very well use a sword anymore anyway. What does it matter if they are banned to him? ]
[Sakamoto's lips are centimeter's from Zura's forehead, parted into something like a twisted smile. Just hearing the word fills him with a breathless kind of joy, because of what it means to him.
The scent that wafts into Sakamoto's nostrils is a variation on a theme, artificial and delicate in nature, something floral and very beautiful. It's not nearly as cheap as the one he's used to, an odor meant to conceal the stench of misfortune and dissatisfaction, one that often lingers on his clothes even the morning after.
[ No, isn't just a sad pretty girl. He's a sad, pretty man.. who conceals himself rather well when it really hurts. At least he is usually genuine, especially when it comes to his friends.
This third glass is about half empty and Katsura feels.. comfortable. Not exactly tipsy but not exactly drunk either. His gaze is a bit heavy, peering up at Sakamoto. ]
Why wouldn't it be? [ not the answer Sakamoto was expecting, probably. Sakamoto is his dear friend; especially with the passing of Gintoki and Takasugi, who was a lost cause at this rate. It only encouraged him to cling to what he could trust and love with all of his heart.
Was it romantic love? Katsura didn't know, but he didn't spend much thought analyzing it like he often did with other things. It didn't matter. Sakamoto was Sakamoto and Sakamoto knew him as Katsura. Did it really have to be love or friendship? Couldn't it just be them?
Zura finishes off the glass competely and doesn't let the empty cup go, but does drape that one arm around Sakamoto's middle. Tatsuma probably feels his body erupt with a small and quiet hiccup. ]
[ Katsura pulls away for a moment so he can look at him straight in the eyes, an unreadable expression crossing his face. Was he doing something to make Sakamoto feel uncomfortable? Maybe Zura was the one crossing the line here and not Sakamoto... should they not do stuff like this? ]
Haaaa—? Sakamoto... you mean to tell me you're... [ you're completely straight..?! Well..... he doesn't finish his sentence. He figures Sakamoto can piece it together on his own. But there's no way. No way somebody like Sakamoto is just flat out heterosexual.. right? ]
[ What did it matter, though? Gay, straight, bi.. whatever. The affection that Sakamoto was giving him was genuine. He knew that. He blinks his lashes for awhile. ]
Ah. I won't judge you. You are free to be as you are— but.. [ but.. His voice quiets, hovering closer to Sakamoto to where their noses nearly touch. ]
[It's so much better than anything he's ever had, though he fails to admit that. He doesn't think it's fair to burden his grieving friend with his own petty issues, things he can't really explain.
(Because he hasn't thought about them at length. He never does.)
Sadness is less productive than joy.]
It's not 'cause you're a guy, really, I've-
[He reaches out to tenderly trace the outline of Zura's lower lip with his thumb again, imagining how his own tongue would feel against it. In an even quieter voice, though he doesn't sound ashamed, necessarily:]
I've looked, before. C'mon! You know a guy like me doesn't care about that kinda stuff. I just care.
[What he's trying to say is that he's never been allowed to get this close before. That it's exciting and he wants more of it, but he can't ask because it'd be too selfish.
[ Katsura feels his lips curl upward in a small smile when he feels Sakamoto brush his thumb over his lip, another hiccup bubbling within the back of his throat. Sakamoto is admitting to him something kinda big, isn't he? It's surprising, really. Zura just figured he was the guy that has done it all; slept with any and all kinds. Somehow, he finds this very fond. Somebody wants to be close and intimate to him and it's.. special. Katsura didn't run from his emotions like what he was feeling unlike Gintoki who guarded himself carefully. It was kind of pathetic; how big and open Katsura's soul could be. It was almost dangerous. His heart warms and it carries up his face, fingers idly toying with Sakamoto's clothing— right along the seam near his chest.
He's feeling pretty good, but.. if he is understanding correctly, that means Katsura was his first guy to be intimate with, wasn't it? That made him feel.. special. What did it exactly mean? He didn't really want to sit and analyze it right now and instead responds with his gut feeling. His hands venture, running up Sakamoto's shoulders and resting there. ]
I had no idea. [ —that you didn't do stuff like this often with men. He leans forward and bumps his head against Sakamoto's, practically speaking against him. ]
We're having a good time. Aren't we? [ In the midst of a sad season for both of them. ]
Ha haa-a! [ Some kind of laughter boils up inside of Katsura. Maybe it was feeling nervous; maybe it was the alcohol; or maybe it was just the fact that somebody who could be considered such a scoundrel was being so sweet to him and giving him such delicate attention. He's been doing things like this all week an honestly.
It's helping. It isn't fixing the sadness in his heart, but it's helping. Katsura practically throws his arms around Sakamoto's neck, smiling against his friend's cheek. ]
I was wondering if you would ask or if you would just do it— I don't know with you.
[Sakamoto has to laugh at that, mostly because he finds that obnoxious guffaw adorable. He takes Zura's comfortable gesture as permission to be closer, pressing a kiss to the other's cheek and several more further down his neck.]
I guess you're right! I'm known for bein' quite the rascal.
[Tenderly, whispered against Zura's now wet skin:]
You were the one who came home early, though. What happened? Tough day at work?
[Sakamoto doesn't think for a second that it could be for him.]
[ The kisses feel nice, and considering how light his head is feeling like it is up in the cloud about now, the little touches only tickled to him. So, he starts giggling again, but hushes up quickly once Sakamoto asks him a question.
Oh. He had noticed that? He had, hadn't he.. Appearing a bit shy, he replies hastily: ]
A..ah. N—No reason. I... was constipated and I couldn't continue the rest of my day until I took care of that. [ He pulls back enough to look Sakamoto in the face again, letting their lips brush together, pursing them slightly in a very small kiss. His face was turning red again.. mainly cause he didn't want to admit the real reason. ]
How is it possible for a man to listen so intently to someone's voice and barely process the words? Sakamoto lets himself savor the way his friend's voice sounds, so deep and deeply content. It rings about in his ears and sends a pleasant shiver down his spine, because it sounds happy.
Not the happiest it could be, but happy.]
You're sure, though? That's all.
[Sakamoto takes one of Zura's hands, gently smoothing over it with his fingers, a tender way of checking for any injuries. Soreness, cuts, bruises, what have you...
[ Katsura hiccups and buries himself right into Sakamoto's neck, though he is quickly pulled back when he feels his hands being held tenderly by rugged fingers and a compliment ringing in his ears. He just stares at Sakamoto before also looking at his fingers, admiring the color himself.
Oh, he did pick a lovely shade, didn't he? ]
A lot of customers say the same thing. I went with my gut instinct. [ He looks at Sakamoto's fingers in response, lifting a brow. ]
I think you could pull this color off very well. [ let him paint your nails one day.. ]
[ Katsura pushes his tongue into his cheek, as if he is giving this a good amount of thought. His hands, in return, grip Sakamoto's palms as he leans in some more, letting the very tip of their noses touch again. His eyes are closed when he speaks this, as if he is waiting to be kissed. ]
Green. [ Why green? Was there a reason for green? ]
Like a dark forest, or right when the leaves are ripe. You seem like an autumn to me. [ He suppresses another hiccup from erupting within the back of his throat before finally dipping his head forward and pressing a kiss against his friend's lips. ]
[ His kiss his fleeting, attentive eyes focusing on Sakamoto's, trying to decipher what could possibly be hidden behind those sapphire eyes— so bright— hiding all sorts of creative thoughts like a veil.
Scheming thoughts, too.
He can only tilt his head to the side and press his cheek further into Tatsuma's warm palm, shutting his eyes pleasantly while doing so. His lips curved upward in a smile, feeling slightly giddy still which made it easy for him to ease the typical stern expression off of his face and actually relax for a change. He sways, very lightly, as if some melody was stuck in his head until Sakamoto stops speaking and ends with that with some laughter that stirs him slightly.
Katsura knew he was important to a handful of people, but he didn't verbally hear it enough. He snorts a puff of air from his nostrils as he lifts his head. ]
I'm always preparing something. A way out, a means of escape— [ His hands delicately sweep down his shoulders, trailing along Sakamoto's arms; both at the same time. ]
A meal for a loved one, a place of refuge for those in need— [ how sweet. ] An... explosive for a particular plan. Hahaaa--
Though, haaa. [ His eyes focus on the duvet they're sitting on. ]
Sometimes I surprise even myself of the outcome.
[ Katsura leans in again, pressing his weight against Sakamoto, hands meeting his friends' wrists and fingers curling around them. His feet touch the ground under them, pushing slightly, enough to— hopefully— get Sakamoto to fall backwards on his back. Zura will fall with him and climb more comfortably on the bed. He'll just position himself on top of him and hover, the edges of his hair brushing down on their bodies. ]
No matter the circumstance. [ His hands have found a better place to hold; and this time they're holding Sakamoto's hands instead of his wrists. ]
[Sakamoto does fall, willingly, with a look on his face that doesn't bother to conceal an ounce of what he's feeling.
It's weird, to be desired sexually. He doesn't say it out loud, though he squeezes Zura's hands in a rare moment of silence, taking the time to burn every little detail into his sometimes unreliable memory.]
An escape, huh? Ahaha!
[Zura's face looks pretty in the dim light, even though it's red.
Sakamoto thinks for a moment, has he ever had Zura's eyes on him like this? He's seen this look before many times, cast in the direction of a certain white-haired samurai who is no more and hurts to remember.]
You got one for me? An escape plan.
[Sakamoto is always running. Not away from somethin', but forward, towards the horizon! Or so he would like to believe.
That is true, perhaps. But it is not the truth in it's entirety.]
Maybe you should. Think about it!
[A flicker of darkness in his eyes, a mixture of hopefulness and melancholy that's honestly bizarre.]
Just in case.
[Sakamoto does not do sadness very well. He doesn't fear it, but he is always happy, he always has to be.
[ Katsura can't imagine why. If anybody spent as much time with Sakamoto as he has been lately, they would see the beauty that was concealed under a mop of fuzzy hair and a boisterous laugh. He only wishes he had noticed these things about Sakamoto sooner, but their lives and ideas didn't permit it.
It wasn't too late for it, though, right?
Any embarrassment he is feeling right now is subdued by his lingering buzz. In fact, it causes him to laugh— surprisingly loud. Are you rubbing off on him already? ]
Hah! Hahahhaa! Sakamoto! Do you not have faith in me? Escape is what I do! Sometimes, though— you have to find a different path to take than the one you know. Sometimes, it is right under you and you don't see it because you are too focused ahead. You'll miss it. Think outside the box. Think differently. You of all people know all about that.
I believe in you. But I'll be happy to help you.
[ He releases his hands and grabs his friend by the face, holding onto his cheeks (and probably smushing them up a little.) His dips down again, meshing their lips together once more in a rather uncoordinated kiss, but it's the thought that counts, right? ]
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Because Tatsuma wanted to save the entire universe.
It was absolutely selfless, where Katsura was a bit selfish in his ways.
It feels good; feeling his friend's fingers rub into his tight shoulders. Katsura feels his own arm looping around Sakamoto's back and around his waist just so he could be a little closer to him.
He doesn't say anything. ]
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I dunno why I got all excited, talkin' it up like that!
[He huddles closer to Zura. Maybe they shouldn't be touching like this, they have before, but that was in the midst of rain and sleet and snow with little to cover themselves with but each other. Sakamoto turns red not knowing why, not understanding that he's embarrassed because this is something lovers do more often than friends.]
I know you love this place.
[Zura will never come to space with him. This is temporary.]
I don't think I'm gonna finish that! You want it?
[He means the glass of wine.]
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Sakamoto confirms exactly what he is thinking. He loves this place too much.
Zura's cheeks are also red, but it's mainly from beginning to feel more of the buzz. He isn't one to drink very much, but isn't one against drinking either. He finds enjoyment in it too, even if he may turn right back around and tell others how it is poison to the soul.
He reaches over Sakamoto, placing his palm that was around his friend on the bed to steady himself while the other hand and stretches it to obtain the glass. How very elegant.
Then, he simmers right back into his cozy seat against Tatsuma, idly sipping from his third drink. ]
—I know you love space.
[ He says quietly.
He knows he could never get Sakamoto back here; back to join his group of rebels to change Japan. He's not sure what good any of it means to Sakamoto anymore since.. he can't very well use a sword anymore anyway. What does it matter if they are banned to him? ]
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[Sakamoto's lips are centimeter's from Zura's forehead, parted into something like a twisted smile. Just hearing the word fills him with a breathless kind of joy, because of what it means to him.
The scent that wafts into Sakamoto's nostrils is a variation on a theme, artificial and delicate in nature, something floral and very beautiful. It's not nearly as cheap as the one he's used to, an odor meant to conceal the stench of misfortune and dissatisfaction, one that often lingers on his clothes even the morning after.
Zura is not some sad, pretty girl.]
I'm too close, huh.
[Last night was probably a one-time thing.
So why does he want more of it?]
Is this okay?
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This third glass is about half empty and Katsura feels.. comfortable. Not exactly tipsy but not exactly drunk either. His gaze is a bit heavy, peering up at Sakamoto. ]
Why wouldn't it be?
[ not the answer Sakamoto was expecting, probably. Sakamoto is his dear friend; especially with the passing of Gintoki and Takasugi, who was a lost cause at this rate. It only encouraged him to cling to what he could trust and love with all of his heart.
Was it romantic love? Katsura didn't know, but he didn't spend much thought analyzing it like he often did with other things. It didn't matter. Sakamoto was Sakamoto and Sakamoto knew him as Katsura. Did it really have to be love or friendship? Couldn't it just be them?
Zura finishes off the glass competely and doesn't let the empty cup go, but does drape that one arm around Sakamoto's middle.
Tatsuma probably feels his body erupt with a small and quiet hiccup. ]
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[Sakamoto prefers not to give whatever they have a label either, but he wants to know what he can and can't do.
Can they kiss, at the very least? Zura looks tired.]
I don't usually do this kind of stuff with guys.
[He never has.]
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Haaaa—? Sakamoto... you mean to tell me you're...
[ you're completely straight..?! Well..... he doesn't finish his sentence. He figures Sakamoto can piece it together on his own.
But there's no way. No way somebody like Sakamoto is just flat out heterosexual.. right? ]
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Ah. I won't judge you. You are free to be as you are— but..
[ but..
His voice quiets, hovering closer to Sakamoto to where their noses nearly touch. ]
Do you like this? With me?
edit
[It's so much better than anything he's ever had, though he fails to admit that. He doesn't think it's fair to burden his grieving friend with his own petty issues, things he can't really explain.
(Because he hasn't thought about them at length. He never does.)
Sadness is less productive than joy.]
It's not 'cause you're a guy, really, I've-
[He reaches out to tenderly trace the outline of Zura's lower lip with his thumb again, imagining how his own tongue would feel against it. In an even quieter voice, though he doesn't sound ashamed, necessarily:]
I've looked, before. C'mon! You know a guy like me doesn't care about that kinda stuff. I just care.
[What he's trying to say is that he's never been allowed to get this close before. That it's exciting and he wants more of it, but he can't ask because it'd be too selfish.
The words die in his throat.]
What are we really doin' here?
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Sakamoto is admitting to him something kinda big, isn't he? It's surprising, really. Zura just figured he was the guy that has done it all; slept with any and all kinds. Somehow, he finds this very fond. Somebody wants to be close and intimate to him and it's.. special. Katsura didn't run from his emotions like what he was feeling unlike Gintoki who guarded himself carefully. It was kind of pathetic; how big and open Katsura's soul could be. It was almost dangerous.
His heart warms and it carries up his face, fingers idly toying with Sakamoto's clothing— right along the seam near his chest.
He's feeling pretty good, but.. if he is understanding correctly, that means Katsura was his first guy to be intimate with, wasn't it? That made him feel.. special. What did it exactly mean? He didn't really want to sit and analyze it right now and instead responds with his gut feeling.
His hands venture, running up Sakamoto's shoulders and resting there. ]
I had no idea.
[ —that you didn't do stuff like this often with men. He leans forward and bumps his head against Sakamoto's, practically speaking against him. ]
We're having a good time. Aren't we?
[ In the midst of a sad season for both of them. ]
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[His expression brightens again, blue eyes making contact with brown ones, bright like the sky they stare up at so often.]
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[He's still smiling, but his voice has softened once again.]
If I kiss you?
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[ Some kind of laughter boils up inside of Katsura. Maybe it was feeling nervous; maybe it was the alcohol; or maybe it was just the fact that somebody who could be considered such a scoundrel was being so sweet to him and giving him such delicate attention. He's been doing things like this all week an honestly.
It's helping. It isn't fixing the sadness in his heart, but it's helping.
Katsura practically throws his arms around Sakamoto's neck, smiling against his friend's cheek. ]
I was wondering if you would ask or if you would just do it—
I don't know with you.
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I guess you're right! I'm known for bein' quite the rascal.
[Tenderly, whispered against Zura's now wet skin:]
You were the one who came home early, though. What happened? Tough day at work?
[Sakamoto doesn't think for a second that it could be for him.]
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Oh. He had noticed that? He had, hadn't he..
Appearing a bit shy, he replies hastily: ]
A..ah. N—No reason. I... was constipated and I couldn't continue the rest of my day until I took care of that.
[ He pulls back enough to look Sakamoto in the face again, letting their lips brush together, pursing them slightly in a very small kiss.
His face was turning red again.. mainly cause he didn't want to admit the real reason. ]
That is alright with you, isn't it?
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[And boy, does he smile.
How is it possible for a man to listen so intently to someone's voice and barely process the words? Sakamoto lets himself savor the way his friend's voice sounds, so deep and deeply content. It rings about in his ears and sends a pleasant shiver down his spine, because it sounds happy.
Not the happiest it could be, but happy.]
You're sure, though? That's all.
[Sakamoto takes one of Zura's hands, gently smoothing over it with his fingers, a tender way of checking for any injuries. Soreness, cuts, bruises, what have you...
Oh.]
H'ohhhh. This color is so pretty.
[He means Zura's nails.]
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Oh, he did pick a lovely shade, didn't he? ]
A lot of customers say the same thing. I went with my gut instinct.
[ He looks at Sakamoto's fingers in response, lifting a brow. ]
I think you could pull this color off very well.
[ let him paint your nails one day.. ]
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[Fondly. Sakamoto doesn't object to the idea.]
Do you have a favorite color? One ya prefer seein' me in.
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Green.
[ Why green? Was there a reason for green? ]
Like a dark forest, or right when the leaves are ripe. You seem like an autumn to me.
[ He suppresses another hiccup from erupting within the back of his throat before finally dipping his head forward and pressing a kiss against his friend's lips. ]
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[Funny, because that's when his birthday is.
Although he often forgets it.]
You're a cute drunk. ♥
[Sakamoto cradles Zura's cheek with one hand, metting the other's eyes as he does. He's not shy with his affections, not in the least.]
So, so! You preparin' for somethin' special or what? Comin' home early, doin' my laundry... Almost like yer some kinda housewife.
Is this to say thank you? For last night. Cause I'd do it all again for ya-
[A laugh.]
You're important to me.
1.2
Scheming thoughts, too.
He can only tilt his head to the side and press his cheek further into Tatsuma's warm palm, shutting his eyes pleasantly while doing so. His lips curved upward in a smile, feeling slightly giddy still which made it easy for him to ease the typical stern expression off of his face and actually relax for a change. He sways, very lightly, as if some melody was stuck in his head until Sakamoto stops speaking and ends with that with some laughter that stirs him slightly.
Katsura knew he was important to a handful of people, but he didn't verbally hear it enough.
He snorts a puff of air from his nostrils as he lifts his head. ]
I'm always preparing something. A way out, a means of escape—
[ His hands delicately sweep down his shoulders, trailing along Sakamoto's arms; both at the same time. ]
A meal for a loved one, a place of refuge for those in need—
[ how sweet. ]
An... explosive for a particular plan. Hahaaa--
[ ... oh. ]
2.2
Sometimes I surprise even myself of the outcome.
[ Katsura leans in again, pressing his weight against Sakamoto, hands meeting his friends' wrists and fingers curling around them. His feet touch the ground under them, pushing slightly, enough to— hopefully— get Sakamoto to fall backwards on his back. Zura will fall with him and climb more comfortably on the bed. He'll just position himself on top of him and hover, the edges of his hair brushing down on their bodies. ]
No matter the circumstance.
[ His hands have found a better place to hold; and this time they're holding Sakamoto's hands instead of his wrists. ]
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It's weird, to be desired sexually. He doesn't say it out loud, though he squeezes Zura's hands in a rare moment of silence, taking the time to burn every little detail into his sometimes unreliable memory.]
An escape, huh? Ahaha!
[Zura's face looks pretty in the dim light, even though it's red.
Sakamoto thinks for a moment, has he ever had Zura's eyes on him like this? He's seen this look before many times, cast in the direction of a certain white-haired samurai who is no more and hurts to remember.]
You got one for me? An escape plan.
[Sakamoto is always running. Not away from somethin', but forward, towards the horizon! Or so he would like to believe.
That is true, perhaps. But it is not the truth in it's entirety.]
Maybe you should. Think about it!
[A flicker of darkness in his eyes, a mixture of hopefulness and melancholy that's honestly bizarre.]
Just in case.
[Sakamoto does not do sadness very well. He doesn't fear it, but he is always happy, he always has to be.
And to do that, he must not think about it, them.
The things that make him sad.]
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It wasn't too late for it, though, right?
Any embarrassment he is feeling right now is subdued by his lingering buzz. In fact, it causes him to laugh— surprisingly loud. Are you rubbing off on him already? ]
Hah! Hahahhaa! Sakamoto! Do you not have faith in me? Escape is what I do! Sometimes, though— you have to find a different path to take than the one you know.
Sometimes, it is right under you and you don't see it because you are too focused ahead. You'll miss it. Think outside the box. Think differently. You of all people know all about that.
I believe in you.
But I'll be happy to help you.
[ He releases his hands and grabs his friend by the face, holding onto his cheeks (and probably smushing them up a little.) His dips down again, meshing their lips together once more in a rather uncoordinated kiss, but it's the thought that counts, right? ]
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When there are mistakes, it feels real. Like he's more than just a means to an end (money).]
Under me? So, you wanna be under me?
'Cause that's definitely somethin' I can do.
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