[ Zura waits, allowing his muscles to get accustomed to the feeling of three fingers— it's a bit painful, but he just wants to be certain this won't be a problem when they're in the middle of fucking each other. He cannot remember the last time he's slept with somebody, specifically another guy.. was it really with their other mutual friend that he doesn't want anything to do with now?
Better not think about him right now. It'll kill his boner.
Katsura is properly flushed and covered in a sheer, thin veil of sweat. He can only give Sakamoto a glance when he speaks up, and god.
God. He doesn't remember Sakamoto looking like this the other night and Katsura has to tear his eyes away. Something about the way his voice stammers; his face looks desperate. He just wants to get this part over with and be all over him. He picks up the pace with his fingers only for a moment, trying to not get too carried away before he pulls out entirely, grabbing a tissue and cleaning off his hands. He's panting at this rate and the only indication of the warm feeling bubbling up in his tummy is the fact he's gotten hard now, fingers trembling— but...
Everything else about Katsura was in control— precise. He goes about like he didn't just shove his fingers up his butt in front of his friend. In fact, he just goes ahead and opens the condom like this was nothing— like he's just preparing food or you know.. some other kind of chore. Sure, he was a prude at times. He got embarrassed a lot— but one thing was certain, he knew how to stay calm and collected in most cases. ]
I can see that. [ He merely says, holding the tip of the condom and making his way over to his partner. ]
I'm going to touch you now. [ thanks for the warning, Zura. ]
[Sakamoto watches everything, head dipping as he begins to understand. There's a flicker of pain in Zura's expression, given away by the slight discomfort accompanied by the bitten lip and scrunched up nose. He doesn't do this often and isn't crazy enough to shove anything particularly large up his ass, and to be fair, that isn't what Zura wants.
The other man is far more romantic with his fantasies, he wants to feel pleasure but the physical aspect isn't nearly as important as being cherished. So Sakamoto will let him know, continuing to look on with hungry, needy eyes.]
Please.
Your hands have been so kind to me, all these years...
[Sakamoto's voice is lower now, low and far away.]
But when you touch me like this, it feels so personal.
[He confesses quietly, like a schoolboy reluctantly admitting a crush:]
I don't think I've ever had that. I just wanna know-
[Sakamoto reaches out to caress Zura's right hand with his own, scar tissue brushing against calloused palms.]
It's okay with you, right? That we're making love.
[ Katsura pinches the bottom of the condom and looks at Sakamoto when he speaks. By now, Zura had come down off of his buzz he was feeling earlier, though there was still something about him that seemed to relax. That was the first point that this was alright. The samurai usually had such a tensed and stern expression, accompanied by a particular way to carry himself. Posture straight, hands folded in his sleeves, carefully guarded. Here, he looks completely vulnerable— exposed to his flesh and his heart beat pounding into his ears.
Is it okay with him? Even if it wasn't he couldn't easily back down now, but.. it wasn't as if Katsura hadn't given this thought.
What did it mean though? Every time this question passed through his mind, he failed to find an answer, but he had an answer to this current question. His cheeks, bright red and aflame even in this dim light, very easily shown his embarrassment as he placed the rubber over Sakamoto's prick, pulling the very end down to the base of his cock carefully and keeping hold of the tip of the condom with his other hand. He allowed some space for his friend's release, tugging it just a hair more before reaching over to obtain a lubricant and continue the preperation. ]
I know it's okay— To pursue what I want. I always pursue what I want. That has always been okay.
What I want to pursue now.. is to be with you. [ He says, voice sounding meek and above a whisper. He glazes a good amount over Sakamoto's erection, smoothing it down with a few light, gentle pumps. He then reaches over for another tissue to clean the excess off of his hands. What a fussy thing. ]
[Like everything in life, pleasure comes at a price.
Sakamoto does his best to restrain any lewd noises, despite the almost irresistible desire to sigh as Zura prepares him so carefully for what they are about to do. The starved look he gives his friend is such an honest one, peeking through the veneer of obstinate boorishness and joy. It's clear from the look in his eyes that he's never married the two, intimacy of the mind and body, and whatever pampering he's experienced previously has all been paid for. He will be paying for this too, when he drinks too much and falls into the arms of random strangers across the universe and he'll imagine someone else entirely.
He has a sinking feeling that Zura will become a person he thinks about, a person he thinks about but cannot touch, like another very important woman who he sees more frequently. But there is a difference between those two relationships, he knows he cannot have her, he has never seen her naked and denies his feelings for her outright, despite how strong and visible they are. His very pretty friend, on the other hand, likes to be held and doesn't mind holding, and is going to make a very beautiful mess of Sakamoto's body tonight.]
Don't be sad later, okay?
[Spoken as if he's reminding himself.]
You're on this planet with so many wonderful gifts! I believe in you and what you can do. That is more important than whatever this is.
[Softly, as he tries to conceal the fact that he's hurt by his own words (usually he wouldn't be, because that is the truth and that is how he is, this is why he doesn't fuck friends), his lips part briefly.]
[ Don't be sad later. Well, he wasn't going to think about being sad later but now that Sakamoto has mentioned it.. he's thinking of the instance where he might feel regret; where maybe Sakamoto feels sad later and his persistence is part of it. Or them parting ways and him no able to be with him when he wants to.
Was.. he really thinking of these kind of sad thoughts? It was almost like.. almost like— ]
I won't. [ —they were already something. Something romantic. He brushes the thought away. He reassures Tatsuma, though his speech is firm and confident, it probably was dishonest. Maybe Sakamoto could read it in his eyes, especially since he has traveled the universe and dealt with many dishonest people.
One thing was certain, though. The way he handled Sakamoto was with utmost sincerity; nothing was with an ulterior motive, such as payment, or lukewarm and lacking feeling that was just to get by for tonight. He runs his palms down Sakamoto's thighs, daring to dip down and kiss right along his inner thigh over a particular muscle that stood out to him. This is probably as close Sakamoto's dick will ever get to his mouth, to be honest. Enjoy it while you can.
With an uneasy breath he slips upward, crawling onto the bed and looming over Sakamoto. ]
I hope you don't mind.. [ how polite. ] I'd like to kiss you a little first. Just a little. [ how particular. Kiss him, he does, and doesn't dilly-dally on this either. His mouth is already partially open. ]
[Sakamoto turns positively pink when he feels Zura's lips against his thigh, laughter high pitched as his knee jerks upwards against his will.
Very rarely has he been catered to with this kind of sweetness. Rarely? Maybe never at all. He doesn't remember.]
Ah-
[He recalls being in situations like this before, but with women on top. There's nothing soft about Zura's body, save for his hair and his lips and the look in his eyes, and Zura's arousal is clearly apparent. This time Sakamoto throws caution to the wind, kissing back roughly, with the appetite of some kind of animal, almost selfishly. A hand darts up to grab hold of Zura's face, because for a brief moment in time Sakamoto wants to imagine what it would be like to have the other man all to himself. This doesn't last very long, however.
The kisses become slower, more tender and lingering.
[ He doesn't mind Sakamoto's excitement, reciprocating back with about as much vigor as his partner. He's quiet, but working his lips along with Tatsuma's, enjoying the feel of his hands against his hot skin on his face.
Again. These words.
Zura pulls back enough to look him directly in the eyes, the lids narrowing into slits. My, my. At least Takasugi was a quiet partner when he and Zura used to do.. things. ]
Sakamoto. [ another breath. ] Hush.
[ this is the third time he is telling him to be quiet and it's obvious he is nervous about this. Katsura is too, but it shows in very subtle movements, like quivering hands and unable to look Sakamoto in the face. Not chatting up a storm when he should be focusing on things like breathing. ]
Kiss me and hush. I mean it. [ There really wasn't much reason why he was doing so much for Sakamoto other than the fact that he was.. slowly.. gradually..
Falling for him.
And that is something he isn't willing to come to admit. Not to himself. Not to anybody else. ]
[And at that Sakamoto suddenly becomes very quiet, no more words leaving his mouth. There's a flicker of a nervous smile before he kisses back hesitantly, clearly hurt by something.
There's never been pressure on him to be any good at this. Usually, his boundless confidence is enough for him to throw caution to the wind and try just about anything, but Zura is different. Sakamoto cares about everyone he sleeps with, even the people who seem cruel and cold, but this is love and Sakamoto knows it.
He has loved Zura for a long time, he loves all his friends and his crew. He loves Mutsu, Gintoki, even Takasugi that wretched bastard...
Never once has he wondered where his hands should go.]
It's gonna get real noisy in here.
[Quietly, in between haggard breaths.]
There isn't much I'll be able to do about that.
[He has been cared for by so many, but Sakamoto does not understand what it is like to be the pinnacle of anyone's affections. Mutsu has come closest, she looks to him for guidance in some ways and feels comfort in his presence, but she is self-sufficient and can function independently.
Zura is lonely and latches on to people, but somehow the thought doesn't occur to this smarmy salesman. After all, he is no warrior, no childhood friend. What qualities does he have for Zura to love, to smother and hold dear? Perhaps his warmth and everlasting friendship, but that's not enough to sustain a fire within one's heart, or so he thinks. His presence in Zura's life has never been consistent.
Sakamoto is downright frustrated. Sexually, sure, but he's never had a problem being creative, it's been exciting to experiment with different surfaces and positions, but Zura just isn't into all that. As a result, Sakamoto simply wraps an arm around the other man's torso, supporting Zura to keep him from falling off altogether.]
[ Zura isn't quite into that, no. Not yet, at least. He might be willing to try some new things, but not this time. Maybe when he's gotten more comfortable with being like this with Sakamoto. For now, he'll be happy to do this— Sakamoto pleased him last night; it's time to return the favor.
Katsura goes back to kissing him, very quickly drawing breathless. His hands also do something— they find themselves into the messy mop of hair, not minding the sweat along his hairline. He bestows several opened mouth kisses here, carrying on down the slope of Sakamoto's neck before murmur right against Sakamoto's ear. ]
I know. You're always noisy. I don't expect you to be quiet in this situation either.
[ One hand slides down between their bodies as he says this. His fingers ease around Sakamoto's cock, rubbing with the pad of his thumb near the tip— feeling his hardness through the rubber.
If Sakamoto gets a glimpse of his face, he'll even see Katsura smack his lips.
Incredible. Who knew Katsura could act like this in bed? He acted so reserved and guarded outside, keeping his mind and goals towards other things. He never made crude jokes, or cat-called anyone. He had difficulty even flirting with people. Who knew he could give Sakamoto this kind of look. ]
[Sakamoto smiles wide again, and though it is a nervous one, it's sincere. He really hasn't been spoiled like this ever, especially not by someone he holds so dear. All the love in his life has been tough, but Zura's hands have always been gentle. Perhaps that's why Sakamoto gravitates towards him so much, and bothers to listen to Zura's absurd banter. To be fair, Sakamoto doesn't find it too absurd.
He enjoys it, just like he's enjoying what they're doing now, perhaps a little too much.
It is only tonight where he realizes that maybe he's always wanted to be kissed like this, because he never has.]
Forgive me.
[For being so useless. He can barely concentrate, as his body practically melts into the sheets. Sakamoto's head arches back as he moans without warning, clinging to Zura for support.
This is the first time he'll properly fuck a man, isn't it?
It really feels like a first time.]
I-
[A hoarse whisper, because it's all he can manage at the moment:]
[ And maybe Katsura feels like he can freely banter in front of Sakamoto for that reason. He wasn't one to hold his opinions back much, anyway, but knowing his friend accepts him even if they disagree on some things is precisely what he likes; it's what he wants.
To be accepted, all of his quirks included.
It wasn't like he didn't have people who did accept him— he did. A lot of them agreed with him and that's why they're his followers. But being so close to somebody else like this who accepts him, cares for him, and loves him to an extent also makes him happy.
He feels happy. He hasn't felt happy in months. That's why he wants to push their intimacy. He wants more of this happiness.
Zura pulls back, leaving Sakamoto with some of his own lingering sweat on his body, various stray hairs sticking to his own face and neck. His body ached and yearned; feeling the stiffness between his fingers excited him, but he took his time with this.
I feel so good, he says, which relieves him to a degree. Katsura knew what to do and was educated on how to have sex; he wasn't a virgin; but he also wasn't one who did it a lot. Hearing this just made something inside of him bubble up with pride. He doesn't have anything to say to that, but he does give his friend a smile of his own, which also appeared nervous. It's brief and warm and if Tatsuma isn't paying attention to him, he'd probably miss it.
He holds himself positioned on his knees to angle himself properly, using his other hand to spread his own cheeks and ease down, pressing the tip of his partner's prick right on through. Easy does it, and easy he goes, feeling his breath catch in his chest, thick lashes flickering shut for a moment. It hurt, just at first as the ring of muscles clenched. He took a few deep breaths, concentrating on relaxing himself. He eases himself down even further, forgetting to breathe as he fully takes Sakamoto in. A sharp gasp escapes his lips but he quiets down soon enough, teeth sinking into his tucked lip.
Katsura finds his hands on Sakamoto's sides, holding himself steady around his rib cage with his palms and doesn't make any movements just yet as he gets used to this feeling. ]
Haaa..
[ He lifts one hand to his lips, wiping off some stray spit wordlessly. Katsura hasn't got much to say, if you haven't noticed, so he'll swallow and begin. He'll move his hips, churning them slowly at first from left to right. ]
[Sakamoto cringes at the sound it all makes, experiencing slight discomfort as Zura's body rejects him at first. He lets out a loud noise, something between a gasp and a sigh, high-pitched and strange, and far more mousy than he would have liked.
Shortly, however, he's awash with pleasure again, feeling tightness in his abdomen as his hands settle on Zura's hips and then his ass, squeezing the cheeks albeit gently as he watches it all go down. This should be special, and it is to a certain extent, but suddenly it all feels too dirty. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be seeing the Zura's face redden or his cock leak, but Sakamoto finds himself desperately attempting to make eye contact.
This is awkward, too awkward, because for the first time in his life he feels guilty for wanting to take someone's breath away, for reasons other than snot-nosed pettiness. He has nothing to prove here, as his old friend doesn't believe him to be a drunken louse who is no good in bed, and isn't attempting to con Sakamoto out of his hard-earned salary (most of which he reinvests into the company itself). There is no unsettling power dynamic here, no woman playing coy in hopes of toppling an empire or one day creating her own. Sure, there are many times when Sakamoto meets random people on the street, enjoys the way they sigh and touch his arm, wanting nothing more than their happiness but this is that feeling tenfold.
Zura is far more important than some stranger he happened to meet by chance.]
Mmmm...
[Sakamoto hums, thinking that this would be better if he was sitting up, so they could kiss and show Zura that he was worthy of love somehow. He constantly feels as though he needs to be doing more, an obligation that doesn't often cross his mind during bedtime rendezvous.]
I'm not okay, I'm Katsura--! [ really. Right now? During this? ]
[ These small movements are enough to get him used to having something he isn't quite accustomed to having up there after a moment. ]
S—Shut up. You're not big enough for it to hurt too much. I'm not stopping— aaah—nything.
[ He's about to increase his speed and pressure, hips beginning to roll forward to find a good pace. His grip on Sakamoto's sides hold tighter as he tips his head down, hiding his face from view; anything to conceal how much he was actually enjoying this. It feels funny at first, but Sakamoto is so warm.
His body, inside of him, felt so warm. And hard.
He likes it.
He doesn't realize his nails are digging into him. ]
[After letting go of Zura's rear briefly, Sakamoto props himself up on his elbows, a difficult task when his mind and body are completely focused on something else, but he manages. Obnoxiously, he blows air into Zura's face, momentarily dispelling locks of hair.]
Big talk for a guy who seems ta really be enjoyin' himself!
[ His eyes are shut, trying so desperately to at least locate that joyous spot that seemed to be hidden for the time being. God.
Though, Sakamoto is making this extremely difficult with his stupid chit-chat, his stupid laughing— and there is breeze in his face? His face, reddened from his cheek to cheek, down his neck and spreading over his shoulders near his chest indicates both embarrassment and anger. Like when you blow in a cat's face and they just freeze up, trying to process what just happened.. that is exactly what is happening with Katsura.
He gives Sakamoto a dangerous look with his eyes before pressing his palm against Sakamoto's head and knocking him back against the bed. His trembling hands fidget, searching for Sakamoto's wrists— in which they pin him down again and provide Zura with something to hold onto for support. His arm muscles tense as he grips, baring his teeth slightly. He refuses to verbally tell Sakamoto to shut up once more— he knows that it is impossible at this rate. And so, he'll do the opposite and try to make him even noisier.
There's a sudden increase in both his speed, pressure, enthusiasm. Katsura pants, huffs, groans shamelessly along with the sound of their skin shifting, moving, clashing.
He only hopes the same thing happens to Sakamoto. ]
[As Sakamoto is thrust back onto the bed, his hips lurch upwards involuntarily. He hits something, hopefully something good, and bites his lip as Zura's voice resonates throughout the room.
There's an angry expression on other's face, despite the quick pace and elaborate gestures. Sakamoto wishes he could savor that noise, knowing that it will be burned into his memory forever, but he wonders for a moment...
Is it real? This is a disgusting thought that seeps into his mind; it poisons everything. Sake, where is the sake? He craves it to dim the unpleasant whispering of a voice he can hardly place, a voice that often visits him at night when he wishes to be alone, to sleep.
Perhaps he doesn't deserve this.
Quietly, Sakamoto struggles to take hold of Zura's hands, as if to apologize. He wants to say, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do."
[ It is easier for Katsura to become colder to people than Sakamoto; and maybe he shouldn't associate so much aggression in his behavior right now, but.. The head of his cock ruts against something that does feel good, and it causes his toes to curl and his fingers to flex. ]
A—ah! [ A bit if a surprised sound, but his body jolts and straightens. Beads of sweat are trickling down his chest, taut muscles rippling through each movement he makes. His pace slows, face twisting into something that looks uncomfortable, and he eases to a stop. Ah, something needs to be fixed here so he'll take a moment to do that. Hair is sticking across his jaw, right along his lips and he swallows. Hard. His palms open, fumble around until he links hands with Sakamoto's, pushing his fingers through and intertwining them. ]
—It felt good. [ Yeah, it felt good. If he were one to be so openly shameless, he's go into description of how good it actually feels; to have something to hard and pulsating inside of him, hugged by his ring of muscles, brushing against the nerves of his body. His voice is dry; almost like he can hardly talk so it's probably for the better anyway. He has to re-position himself, hopefully for the better; and hopefully to encourage Sakamoto to buck against him again.
He does take a moment, however, and brings a hand to his lips, curling his knuckles and speaking against Sakamoto's fingers, eyes closing. ]
Please do that again. [ There's a kiss across Sakamoto's fingers as he tries to catch his breath. ]
Move with me. [ He resumes the pace, steady this time. ]
[He's let his nerves catch up with him, a thing that does not happen very often. Sakamoto has very little knowledge of how it feels to be in Zura's position, though he has quite a few hazy memories of questionable things he's had inside of him after one too many drinks. Pleasure is all he remembers, pleasure of the overwhelming sort.
Sakamoto returns the kiss, pressing his lips to Zura's hands and tasting the sweat, feeling something drip from his own brow and down the side of his face. He bucks his hips clumsily at first, in a piss poor attempt to hit whatever spot he'd gotten hold of the first time, but he gets better as seconds pass, matching Zura's speed eventually.
He alternates between guilt and ecstasy, because he's never felt quite this good, never had his body sing a tune this beautiful. A friend has given him something so valuable, not just a moment of his time but a little piece of his soul and a whole lot of his skin. Sakamoto arcs his head back far, and further still, his back arching into an almost perfect curve as sweat pools on his brow and his abdomen. That already well-defined midline becomes more defined as it glistens with the signs of his own rapture, though his cheeks and chest remain red.
What he wants is something special, something he doesn't deserve to have. Here is a peek at something, what it is like to be someone's most precious person, in ways that Mutsu does not hold him dear.
Oof— [ —is Katsura's response at first, nearly falling forward on Sakamoto; that was a bit eager and he is certain he'll be feeling it the next day. Though, he keeps their hands out to keep him from completely collapsing on Sakamoto— not yet— not until they've both finished.
Of all the people in their group as they ran across the battlefields, dried blood on their wrists and faces, Katsura never imagined he would end up like this with Sakamoto. Takasugi was the first one to invade his heart as a child; Gintoki was the one who prevented him from going down a destructive path, also winning his heart. He wouldn't admit to anyone how frail he was when it came to keeping his heart guarded— it was embarrassing how he could so easily be captivated.
And here, right now, those same and familiar emotions tug at him, pulling him down, down, down—
Why?
Would Sakamoto leave too? Leave his mind as Takasugi did or leave his body to travel to heaven like Gintoki did? Would it happen too soon like the other two? ]
Haaa, ahh— damn. [ He's not very loud, par se, but he does sound very desperate. Their pace is gentle at the moment, and he can feel himself reaching his limit soon, mind drawing to a haze. ]
Harder. [ how filthy.... His hands squeeze Sakamoto's, holding tight— aaand— faster and harder he goes! ]
[Sakamoto has always noticed. Katsura is strong and resilient, despite his cowardly ways. Strong, but sometimes forgotten. Quiet as Zura's ways are, Sakamoto has always noticed him. When Zura isn't talking, the spaceman can see them- The withers of doubt, the pent-up frustration with himself, and the crippling loneliness. Hollow, but most obvious when he thinks no one is looking.
He lurches upwards without warning.
Sakamoto's hand cannot grip a sword, but there is still evidence of a beast lurking within. He leaps with the strength of an animal, breaking free of Zura's hold and wrapping his arms around his friend but falling as their mouths crash together. An unexpected circumstance, but not one he cannot work with. He withdraws his hands after that quick embrace, he has to in order to support himself for what he is about to do.
There is a look of intensity on his face, one of deep concentration. He thrusts hard, harder than before, wincing in fear of hurting his friend. He inches closer, however, and their foreheads touch.]
Harder and faster?
[Sakamoto begins to follow those directions, grinning widely as he does, but only briefly, just for enough time to say this:]
[ An embarrassing noise escapes Katsura's mouth when Sakamoto finally sits up and crashes against him, knocking him backwards in an aggressive kiss. It's more mousy than anything, the curve of his head reaching the foot of the bed as they both almost fall off of it. A turn of events, and positions, it looks like. Surprisingly enough, Katsura shows no indication of rebelling against it.
His heart is racing, practically falling out of his chest as he looks up at Sakamoto with wide eyes. It's a good thing he relaxes from the change when he does, because Sakamoto bucks into him, not quite hitting where he needs to but Katsura's response is positive. A loud noise that he's been holding back finally rings in the air, and he can only lift one hand and cup it over his lips, looking at Sakamoto like he had done something terrible. For shame.
Meekly, he speaks through his fingers, which begin to spread apart: ]
It's not filthy lil' rascal, it's K—atsura. [ Locks of hair fall against the side of the duvet, his face turning a bright, new shade of red. ]
W—What do you think you're doing? [ He doesn't sound scolding or harsh— it's more curious, if anything. ]
[Sakamoto feels a surge of something wonderful, almost like confidence.
He stops moving his hips for a brief moment in time, leaning over his friend and leering almost, taking the time to brush his hands over the other's chest and over the nipples, before moving them downwards and towards either side of Zura's body. Sakamoto straightens his back as he does so, knowing that this will give his partner a full view of his body, something he has a feeling the other will enjoy.
Suddenly, he grabs hold of Zura's thighs, yanking him closer before answering cheekily:]
You. ♥
[This is much better.
Sakamoto is relentless as he begins to pound into him, with more fervor than before. Everything becomes simpler when he knows he's doing well, and so he lets out a cry or two as he moves, jutting his hips back and forth as hard and fast as they can carry him.
This is intimate, too. Zura can watch him come this way, watch as every muscle of his body goes slack when it all ends, and also see Sakamoto the way he's used to seeing him. Noisy and happy, very much so. A man who loves his friends and sees no shame in doing anything he can to cheer them up, even this.]
[ You? What a bastard. That's all he can think of in his hazy mind right now. And, well, he isn't exactly wrong, and as much as Katsura likes to have control over a situation, something about being taken control of by force just seems so attractive to him. He's not going to ever tell Sakamoto that, but maybe he'll figure it out, especially by how easily Katsura gives in.
His fingers press tightly against his lips again, eyes squeezing shut and the very ends of them pricking with tears. It was hard to explain why the ends of his lashes were wet; he wasn't showing any signs of pain or displeasure but he just felt very.. overwhelmed at this rate and it wasn't precisely a bad thing. He peers at Sakamoto a few times and does enjoy the view, but he's concentrating right now on trying to breathe and not sound too humiliating.
He doesn't feel comfortable, yet, to expose all of his thoughts and feelings to Sakamoto. Again, how good it feels, how much he is loving it. He opts for keeping as tight-lipped as possible— but that doesn't mean he'll always be like that— especially if they choose to continue to do things like this.
He wonders that.
Sakamoto hits where he needs to one after another after another. Holy shit. He can read it on Katsura's face, even if he isn't exclaiming yes, yes, and yes over again.
His heart drums in his ears as his vision seems fades to white, his toes clenching up. He comes, just like that, and pulls his hand from his lips so he can gasp for air properly. Wow. Things were cumbersome and moments were uncomfortable during this, but it was worth it. Even if the hot mess over his body is irritating, he doesn't tell Sakamoto to stop.
His head lulls to the side, peering up at Sakamoto, almost bashfully. ]
Please finish. [ wow. So many "pleases" tonight. ]
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no subject
Better not think about him right now. It'll kill his boner.
Katsura is properly flushed and covered in a sheer, thin veil of sweat. He can only give Sakamoto a glance when he speaks up, and god.
God.
He doesn't remember Sakamoto looking like this the other night and Katsura has to tear his eyes away. Something about the way his voice stammers; his face looks desperate. He just wants to get this part over with and be all over him.
He picks up the pace with his fingers only for a moment, trying to not get too carried away before he pulls out entirely, grabbing a tissue and cleaning off his hands. He's panting at this rate and the only indication of the warm feeling bubbling up in his tummy is the fact he's gotten hard now, fingers trembling— but...
Everything else about Katsura was in control— precise. He goes about like he didn't just shove his fingers up his butt in front of his friend. In fact, he just goes ahead and opens the condom like this was nothing— like he's just preparing food or you know.. some other kind of chore.
Sure, he was a prude at times. He got embarrassed a lot— but one thing was certain, he knew how to stay calm and collected in most cases. ]
I can see that.
[ He merely says, holding the tip of the condom and making his way over to his partner. ]
I'm going to touch you now.
[ thanks for the warning, Zura. ]
no subject
The other man is far more romantic with his fantasies, he wants to feel pleasure but the physical aspect isn't nearly as important as being cherished. So Sakamoto will let him know, continuing to look on with hungry, needy eyes.]
Please.
Your hands have been so kind to me, all these years...
[Sakamoto's voice is lower now, low and far away.]
But when you touch me like this, it feels so personal.
[He confesses quietly, like a schoolboy reluctantly admitting a crush:]
I don't think I've ever had that. I just wanna know-
[Sakamoto reaches out to caress Zura's right hand with his own, scar tissue brushing against calloused palms.]
It's okay with you, right? That we're making love.
no subject
Is it okay with him?
Even if it wasn't he couldn't easily back down now, but.. it wasn't as if Katsura hadn't given this thought.
What did it mean though? Every time this question passed through his mind, he failed to find an answer, but he had an answer to this current question.
His cheeks, bright red and aflame even in this dim light, very easily shown his embarrassment as he placed the rubber over Sakamoto's prick, pulling the very end down to the base of his cock carefully and keeping hold of the tip of the condom with his other hand. He allowed some space for his friend's release, tugging it just a hair more before reaching over to obtain a lubricant and continue the preperation. ]
I know it's okay—
To pursue what I want.
I always pursue what I want.
That has always been okay.
What I want to pursue now.. is to be with you.
[ He says, voice sounding meek and above a whisper. He glazes a good amount over Sakamoto's erection, smoothing it down with a few light, gentle pumps.
He then reaches over for another tissue to clean the excess off of his hands. What a fussy thing. ]
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Sakamoto does his best to restrain any lewd noises, despite the almost irresistible desire to sigh as Zura prepares him so carefully for what they are about to do. The starved look he gives his friend is such an honest one, peeking through the veneer of obstinate boorishness and joy. It's clear from the look in his eyes that he's never married the two, intimacy of the mind and body, and whatever pampering he's experienced previously has all been paid for. He will be paying for this too, when he drinks too much and falls into the arms of random strangers across the universe and he'll imagine someone else entirely.
He has a sinking feeling that Zura will become a person he thinks about, a person he thinks about but cannot touch, like another very important woman who he sees more frequently. But there is a difference between those two relationships, he knows he cannot have her, he has never seen her naked and denies his feelings for her outright, despite how strong and visible they are. His very pretty friend, on the other hand, likes to be held and doesn't mind holding, and is going to make a very beautiful mess of Sakamoto's body tonight.]
Don't be sad later, okay?
[Spoken as if he's reminding himself.]
You're on this planet with so many wonderful gifts! I believe in you and what you can do. That is more important than whatever this is.
[Softly, as he tries to conceal the fact that he's hurt by his own words (usually he wouldn't be, because that is the truth and that is how he is, this is why he doesn't fuck friends), his lips part briefly.]
I know that's somethin' ya already understand.
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Or them parting ways and him no able to be with him when he wants to.
Was.. he really thinking of these kind of sad thoughts? It was almost like.. almost like— ]
I won't.
[ —they were already something. Something romantic. He brushes the thought away. He reassures Tatsuma, though his speech is firm and confident, it probably was dishonest. Maybe Sakamoto could read it in his eyes, especially since he has traveled the universe and dealt with many dishonest people.
One thing was certain, though. The way he handled Sakamoto was with utmost sincerity; nothing was with an ulterior motive, such as payment, or lukewarm and lacking feeling that was just to get by for tonight.
He runs his palms down Sakamoto's thighs, daring to dip down and kiss right along his inner thigh over a particular muscle that stood out to him. This is probably as close Sakamoto's dick will ever get to his mouth, to be honest. Enjoy it while you can.
With an uneasy breath he slips upward, crawling onto the bed and looming over Sakamoto. ]
I hope you don't mind.. [ how polite. ]
I'd like to kiss you a little first. Just a little.
[ how particular.
Kiss him, he does, and doesn't dilly-dally on this either. His mouth is already partially open. ]
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Very rarely has he been catered to with this kind of sweetness. Rarely? Maybe never at all. He doesn't remember.]
Ah-
[He recalls being in situations like this before, but with women on top. There's nothing soft about Zura's body, save for his hair and his lips and the look in his eyes, and Zura's arousal is clearly apparent. This time Sakamoto throws caution to the wind, kissing back roughly, with the appetite of some kind of animal, almost selfishly. A hand darts up to grab hold of Zura's face, because for a brief moment in time Sakamoto wants to imagine what it would be like to have the other man all to himself. This doesn't last very long, however.
The kisses become slower, more tender and lingering.
He feels guilt.]
You weren't feelin' down today, were ya?
Is there anything I can do for you?
This is a lot.
["Thank you so much."]
You feelin' alright?
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Again. These words.
Zura pulls back enough to look him directly in the eyes, the lids narrowing into slits. My, my. At least Takasugi was a quiet partner when he and Zura used to do.. things. ]
Sakamoto.
[ another breath. ]
Hush.
[ this is the third time he is telling him to be quiet and it's obvious he is nervous about this. Katsura is too, but it shows in very subtle movements, like quivering hands and unable to look Sakamoto in the face. Not chatting up a storm when he should be focusing on things like breathing. ]
Kiss me and hush. I mean it.
[ There really wasn't much reason why he was doing so much for Sakamoto other than the fact that he was..
slowly..
gradually..
Falling for him.
And that is something he isn't willing to come to admit.
Not to himself. Not to anybody else. ]
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There's never been pressure on him to be any good at this. Usually, his boundless confidence is enough for him to throw caution to the wind and try just about anything, but Zura is different. Sakamoto cares about everyone he sleeps with, even the people who seem cruel and cold, but this is love and Sakamoto knows it.
He has loved Zura for a long time, he loves all his friends and his crew. He loves Mutsu, Gintoki, even Takasugi that wretched bastard...
Never once has he wondered where his hands should go.]
It's gonna get real noisy in here.
[Quietly, in between haggard breaths.]
There isn't much I'll be able to do about that.
[He has been cared for by so many, but Sakamoto does not understand what it is like to be the pinnacle of anyone's affections. Mutsu has come closest, she looks to him for guidance in some ways and feels comfort in his presence, but she is self-sufficient and can function independently.
Zura is lonely and latches on to people, but somehow the thought doesn't occur to this smarmy salesman. After all, he is no warrior, no childhood friend. What qualities does he have for Zura to love, to smother and hold dear? Perhaps his warmth and everlasting friendship, but that's not enough to sustain a fire within one's heart, or so he thinks. His presence in Zura's life has never been consistent.
Sakamoto is downright frustrated. Sexually, sure, but he's never had a problem being creative, it's been exciting to experiment with different surfaces and positions, but Zura just isn't into all that. As a result, Sakamoto simply wraps an arm around the other man's torso, supporting Zura to keep him from falling off altogether.]
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Katsura goes back to kissing him, very quickly drawing breathless. His hands also do something— they find themselves into the messy mop of hair, not minding the sweat along his hairline. He bestows several opened mouth kisses here, carrying on down the slope of Sakamoto's neck before murmur right against Sakamoto's ear. ]
I know.
You're always noisy.
I don't expect you to be quiet in this situation either.
[ One hand slides down between their bodies as he says this. His fingers ease around Sakamoto's cock, rubbing with the pad of his thumb near the tip— feeling his hardness through the rubber.
If Sakamoto gets a glimpse of his face, he'll even see Katsura smack his lips.
Incredible. Who knew Katsura could act like this in bed? He acted so reserved and guarded outside, keeping his mind and goals towards other things. He never made crude jokes, or cat-called anyone. He had difficulty even flirting with people.
Who knew he could give Sakamoto this kind of look. ]
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He enjoys it, just like he's enjoying what they're doing now, perhaps a little too much.
It is only tonight where he realizes that maybe he's always wanted to be kissed like this, because he never has.]
Forgive me.
[For being so useless. He can barely concentrate, as his body practically melts into the sheets. Sakamoto's head arches back as he moans without warning, clinging to Zura for support.
This is the first time he'll properly fuck a man, isn't it?
It really feels like a first time.]
I-
[A hoarse whisper, because it's all he can manage at the moment:]
I feel so good.
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To be accepted, all of his quirks included.
It wasn't like he didn't have people who did accept him— he did. A lot of them agreed with him and that's why they're his followers. But being so close to somebody else like this who accepts him, cares for him, and loves him to an extent also makes him happy.
He feels happy. He hasn't felt happy in months.
That's why he wants to push their intimacy. He wants more of this happiness.
Zura pulls back, leaving Sakamoto with some of his own lingering sweat on his body, various stray hairs sticking to his own face and neck. His body ached and yearned; feeling the stiffness between his fingers excited him, but he took his time with this.
I feel so good, he says, which relieves him to a degree. Katsura knew what to do and was educated on how to have sex; he wasn't a virgin; but he also wasn't one who did it a lot. Hearing this just made something inside of him bubble up with pride. He doesn't have anything to say to that, but he does give his friend a smile of his own, which also appeared nervous. It's brief and warm and if Tatsuma isn't paying attention to him, he'd probably miss it.
He holds himself positioned on his knees to angle himself properly, using his other hand to spread his own cheeks and ease down, pressing the tip of his partner's prick right on through. Easy does it, and easy he goes, feeling his breath catch in his chest, thick lashes flickering shut for a moment. It hurt, just at first as the ring of muscles clenched. He took a few deep breaths, concentrating on relaxing himself. He eases himself down even further, forgetting to breathe as he fully takes Sakamoto in. A sharp gasp escapes his lips but he quiets down soon enough, teeth sinking into his tucked lip.
Katsura finds his hands on Sakamoto's sides, holding himself steady around his rib cage with his palms and doesn't make any movements just yet as he gets used to this feeling. ]
Haaa..
[ He lifts one hand to his lips, wiping off some stray spit wordlessly. Katsura hasn't got much to say, if you haven't noticed, so he'll swallow and begin.
He'll move his hips, churning them slowly at first from left to right. ]
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Shortly, however, he's awash with pleasure again, feeling tightness in his abdomen as his hands settle on Zura's hips and then his ass, squeezing the cheeks albeit gently as he watches it all go down. This should be special, and it is to a certain extent, but suddenly it all feels too dirty. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be seeing the Zura's face redden or his cock leak, but Sakamoto finds himself desperately attempting to make eye contact.
This is awkward, too awkward, because for the first time in his life he feels guilty for wanting to take someone's breath away, for reasons other than snot-nosed pettiness. He has nothing to prove here, as his old friend doesn't believe him to be a drunken louse who is no good in bed, and isn't attempting to con Sakamoto out of his hard-earned salary (most of which he reinvests into the company itself). There is no unsettling power dynamic here, no woman playing coy in hopes of toppling an empire or one day creating her own. Sure, there are many times when Sakamoto meets random people on the street, enjoys the way they sigh and touch his arm, wanting nothing more than their happiness but this is that feeling tenfold.
Zura is far more important than some stranger he happened to meet by chance.]
Mmmm...
[Sakamoto hums, thinking that this would be better if he was sitting up, so they could kiss and show Zura that he was worthy of love somehow. He constantly feels as though he needs to be doing more, an obligation that doesn't often cross his mind during bedtime rendezvous.]
Zura, are you okay? If it hurts too much...
[He gasps, taking pause.]
We can stop anytime.
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[ These small movements are enough to get him used to having something he isn't quite accustomed to having up there after a moment. ]
S—Shut up. You're not big enough for it to hurt too much. I'm not stopping— aaah—nything.
[ He's about to increase his speed and pressure, hips beginning to roll forward to find a good pace. His grip on Sakamoto's sides hold tighter as he tips his head down, hiding his face from view; anything to conceal how much he was actually enjoying this. It feels funny at first, but Sakamoto is so warm.
His body, inside of him, felt so warm.
And hard.
He likes it.
He doesn't realize his nails are digging into him. ]
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[After letting go of Zura's rear briefly, Sakamoto props himself up on his elbows, a difficult task when his mind and body are completely focused on something else, but he manages. Obnoxiously, he blows air into Zura's face, momentarily dispelling locks of hair.]
Big talk for a guy who seems ta really be enjoyin' himself!
[SAKAMOTO ARE YOU LAUGHING
THIS ISN'T THE TIME NOR PLACE????]
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Though, Sakamoto is making this extremely difficult with his stupid chit-chat, his stupid laughing— and there is breeze in his face?
His face, reddened from his cheek to cheek, down his neck and spreading over his shoulders near his chest indicates both embarrassment and anger. Like when you blow in a cat's face and they just freeze up, trying to process what just happened.. that is exactly what is happening with Katsura.
He gives Sakamoto a dangerous look with his eyes before pressing his palm against Sakamoto's head and knocking him back against the bed. His trembling hands fidget, searching for Sakamoto's wrists— in which they pin him down again and provide Zura with something to hold onto for support. His arm muscles tense as he grips, baring his teeth slightly. He refuses to verbally tell Sakamoto to shut up once more— he knows that it is impossible at this rate. And so, he'll do the opposite and try to make him even noisier.
There's a sudden increase in both his speed, pressure, enthusiasm.
Katsura pants, huffs, groans shamelessly along with the sound of their skin shifting, moving, clashing.
He only hopes the same thing happens to Sakamoto. ]
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There's an angry expression on other's face, despite the quick pace and elaborate gestures. Sakamoto wishes he could savor that noise, knowing that it will be burned into his memory forever, but he wonders for a moment...
Is it real? This is a disgusting thought that seeps into his mind; it poisons everything. Sake, where is the sake? He craves it to dim the unpleasant whispering of a voice he can hardly place, a voice that often visits him at night when he wishes to be alone, to sleep.
Perhaps he doesn't deserve this.
Quietly, Sakamoto struggles to take hold of Zura's hands, as if to apologize. He wants to say, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do."
But nothing comes out.]
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The head of his cock ruts against something that does feel good, and it causes his toes to curl and his fingers to flex. ]
A—ah!
[ A bit if a surprised sound, but his body jolts and straightens. Beads of sweat are trickling down his chest, taut muscles rippling through each movement he makes. His pace slows, face twisting into something that looks uncomfortable, and he eases to a stop. Ah, something needs to be fixed here so he'll take a moment to do that.
Hair is sticking across his jaw, right along his lips and he swallows. Hard. His palms open, fumble around until he links hands with Sakamoto's, pushing his fingers through and intertwining them. ]
—It felt good.
[ Yeah, it felt good. If he were one to be so openly shameless, he's go into description of how good it actually feels; to have something to hard and pulsating inside of him, hugged by his ring of muscles, brushing against the nerves of his body. His voice is dry; almost like he can hardly talk so it's probably for the better anyway. He has to re-position himself, hopefully for the better; and hopefully to encourage Sakamoto to buck against him again.
He does take a moment, however, and brings a hand to his lips, curling his knuckles and speaking against Sakamoto's fingers, eyes closing. ]
Please do that again.
[ There's a kiss across Sakamoto's fingers as he tries to catch his breath. ]
Move with me.
[ He resumes the pace, steady this time. ]
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[He's let his nerves catch up with him, a thing that does not happen very often. Sakamoto has very little knowledge of how it feels to be in Zura's position, though he has quite a few hazy memories of questionable things he's had inside of him after one too many drinks. Pleasure is all he remembers, pleasure of the overwhelming sort.
Sakamoto returns the kiss, pressing his lips to Zura's hands and tasting the sweat, feeling something drip from his own brow and down the side of his face. He bucks his hips clumsily at first, in a piss poor attempt to hit whatever spot he'd gotten hold of the first time, but he gets better as seconds pass, matching Zura's speed eventually.
He alternates between guilt and ecstasy, because he's never felt quite this good, never had his body sing a tune this beautiful. A friend has given him something so valuable, not just a moment of his time but a little piece of his soul and a whole lot of his skin. Sakamoto arcs his head back far, and further still, his back arching into an almost perfect curve as sweat pools on his brow and his abdomen. That already well-defined midline becomes more defined as it glistens with the signs of his own rapture, though his cheeks and chest remain red.
What he wants is something special, something he doesn't deserve to have. Here is a peek at something, what it is like to be someone's most precious person, in ways that Mutsu does not hold him dear.
She may love him, but not like that.]
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[ —is Katsura's response at first, nearly falling forward on Sakamoto; that was a bit eager and he is certain he'll be feeling it the next day. Though, he keeps their hands out to keep him from completely collapsing on Sakamoto— not yet— not until they've both finished.
Of all the people in their group as they ran across the battlefields, dried blood on their wrists and faces, Katsura never imagined he would end up like this with Sakamoto. Takasugi was the first one to invade his heart as a child; Gintoki was the one who prevented him from going down a destructive path, also winning his heart. He wouldn't admit to anyone how frail he was when it came to keeping his heart guarded— it was embarrassing how he could so easily be captivated.
And here, right now, those same and familiar emotions tug at him, pulling him down, down, down—
Why?
Would Sakamoto leave too? Leave his mind as Takasugi did or leave his body to travel to heaven like Gintoki did?
Would it happen too soon like the other two? ]
Haaa, ahh— damn.
[ He's not very loud, par se, but he does sound very desperate. Their pace is gentle at the moment, and he can feel himself reaching his limit soon, mind drawing to a haze. ]
Harder.
[ how filthy....
His hands squeeze Sakamoto's, holding tight— aaand—
faster and harder he goes! ]
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He lurches upwards without warning.
Sakamoto's hand cannot grip a sword, but there is still evidence of a beast lurking within. He leaps with the strength of an animal, breaking free of Zura's hold and wrapping his arms around his friend but falling as their mouths crash together. An unexpected circumstance, but not one he cannot work with. He withdraws his hands after that quick embrace, he has to in order to support himself for what he is about to do.
There is a look of intensity on his face, one of deep concentration. He thrusts hard, harder than before, wincing in fear of hurting his friend. He inches closer, however, and their foreheads touch.]
Harder and faster?
[Sakamoto begins to follow those directions, grinning widely as he does, but only briefly, just for enough time to say this:]
You filthy lil' rascal.
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His heart is racing, practically falling out of his chest as he looks up at Sakamoto with wide eyes. It's a good thing he relaxes from the change when he does, because Sakamoto bucks into him, not quite hitting where he needs to but Katsura's response is positive. A loud noise that he's been holding back finally rings in the air, and he can only lift one hand and cup it over his lips, looking at Sakamoto like he had done something terrible. For shame.
Meekly, he speaks through his fingers, which begin to spread apart: ]
It's not filthy lil' rascal, it's K—atsura.
[ Locks of hair fall against the side of the duvet, his face turning a bright, new shade of red. ]
W—What do you think you're doing?
[ He doesn't sound scolding or harsh— it's more curious, if anything. ]
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He stops moving his hips for a brief moment in time, leaning over his friend and leering almost, taking the time to brush his hands over the other's chest and over the nipples, before moving them downwards and towards either side of Zura's body. Sakamoto straightens his back as he does so, knowing that this will give his partner a full view of his body, something he has a feeling the other will enjoy.
Suddenly, he grabs hold of Zura's thighs, yanking him closer before answering cheekily:]
You. ♥
[This is much better.
Sakamoto is relentless as he begins to pound into him, with more fervor than before. Everything becomes simpler when he knows he's doing well, and so he lets out a cry or two as he moves, jutting his hips back and forth as hard and fast as they can carry him.
This is intimate, too. Zura can watch him come this way, watch as every muscle of his body goes slack when it all ends, and also see Sakamoto the way he's used to seeing him. Noisy and happy, very much so. A man who loves his friends and sees no shame in doing anything he can to cheer them up, even this.]
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And, well, he isn't exactly wrong, and as much as Katsura likes to have control over a situation, something about being taken control of by force just seems so attractive to him. He's not going to ever tell Sakamoto that, but maybe he'll figure it out, especially by how easily Katsura gives in.
His fingers press tightly against his lips again, eyes squeezing shut and the very ends of them pricking with tears. It was hard to explain why the ends of his lashes were wet; he wasn't showing any signs of pain or displeasure but he just felt very.. overwhelmed at this rate and it wasn't precisely a bad thing. He peers at Sakamoto a few times and does enjoy the view, but he's concentrating right now on trying to breathe and not sound too humiliating.
He doesn't feel comfortable, yet, to expose all of his thoughts and feelings to Sakamoto. Again, how good it feels, how much he is loving it. He opts for keeping as tight-lipped as possible— but that doesn't mean he'll always be like that— especially if they choose to continue to do things like this.
He wonders that.
Sakamoto hits where he needs to one after another after another. Holy shit. He can read it on Katsura's face, even if he isn't exclaiming yes, yes, and yes over again.
His heart drums in his ears as his vision seems fades to white, his toes clenching up. He comes, just like that, and pulls his hand from his lips so he can gasp for air properly.
Wow. Things were cumbersome and moments were uncomfortable during this, but it was worth it. Even if the hot mess over his body is irritating, he doesn't tell Sakamoto to stop.
His head lulls to the side, peering up at Sakamoto, almost bashfully. ]
Please finish.
[ wow. So many "pleases" tonight. ]
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