[ Katsura smiles warmly at his response, shifting his hair over one of his shoulders, though not tying it off. His eyes steadily watch Sakamoto as he answers the door and he shifts to a seated position on the floor on his haunches properly.
When Sakamoto turns around, he will gesture to his right shoulder. ]
This side has been trouble, you know. Carrying the burden of countrywide reformation takes a toll on me after awhile.
[Sakamoto opens the door to a very polite (but obviously very uncomfortable) hotel staff member who walks in with the bottle of wine on a rolling platform. The merchant can understand that this man probably thinks himself to be in a whole lot of danger, especially considering the conversation they just had with management. So, the curly-haired star gazer nods at the employee, smiling encouragingly as he nervously pours them their drinks.]
Sure thing, Zura! You wanna sit down?
[Sakamoto jerks a thumb in the direction of the bed.]
[ Katsura watches the room service guy as he enters, dark eyes scanning him up and down. He had to be an Amanto of some kind, or else Zura wouldn't have been left staring at him with a look of distaste on his lips, twisted into a frown without him even realizing.
Oh, he wants to move him to the bed?
Katsura complies wordlessly, keeping an eye on the butler the entire time. He sits with his knees together and his legs off the side of the bed, fingers curled into the top of the duvet. ]
[Watching a man in mild discomfort can make a person feel pretty... Well, uncomfortable. Why is he taking so long? Just pour the wine and go.
Sakamoto casually slings an arm over Zura's shoulder after he sits down, a harmless gesture in his mind. For some reason, it seems to only make the staff member leave the room in an even more hurried manner. Reaching over, the merchant begins to rub the shoulder that's farthest from him.]
You want a glass? Sorry it's not sake.
[Smiling, because he knows Zura will find this amusing:]
[ Zura huffs as he watches the Amanto exit the inn room, almost insulted that Sakamoto had to invite him inside— in his presence. It's not like Katsura didn't brush shoulders with them; he did.. a lot and it was just a reminder of the work that has to be done.
Yet, here he is skipping out on his leadership role to spend some much needed and desired attention delivered from his teenage friend. How pathetic.
He finally speaks, appearing rather haughty for a moment. ]
I believe it. They don't know anything of our culture. [ Though, he looks at Tatsuma expectantly. Yes, he'll take some. ]
Nothing. [ He is honest, at least. He takes the glass and lifts it to his lips, taking a sip and enjoying the feel as it rushed down his throat. ]
But I am not invading their homes and trying to abolish their ways or what they hold dear to themselves. That is what I have an issue with.
[ He knows of the Amanto people. They care about each other and their kind that they love. That is how they are similar to humans, and Katsura had learned that long ago when he was going to terrorize an Amanto-only restaurant. That's what he knows of them, but not their customs, culture or what they like to drink in preference over Earth drinks. ]
No, I am defending of the ways we are proud of and what I hold dear to me and those who agree.
—Yes. I will kick them out. It won't be the same, but as it should be. [ His answer is, unsurprisingly quick. Perhaps it was to protect his pride and the work that he had devoted himself to; throwing away his identity into something that will always and forever be tacked onto the title of "criminal." He knew this was something that Sakamoto's views have always been screwy with in his opinion, but Katsura stood firm on his passion to reform Japan back to it's old ways.
Back to the ways his sensei taught him over.
He wouldn't sugar coat it for Sakamoto and will step on his toes if he needs to. ]
Any samurai who agrees with them and finding that it is simply fine of what they are doing is a coward. Do they not realize what they are doing? They come here, with barking, but sink their teeth in our very lifestyle— what a true samurai devotes himself to. The sword, the protection of this country. No, they are cowards.
[ —Such as the Shinsengumi. He shuts his eyes and seals his lips over the glass, finishing off the first drink. He holds out the glass to Tatsuma, wanting more. You've got him on a topic he feels he needs more drink to discuss with you. ]
Who do they think they are, anyway? We had an agreement with them; to open up trade. Not have our country re-positioned for their own benefit and have ourselves stripped of our culture. It makes me feel vulnerable and ashamed.
[Sakamoto raises a brow at his friend. It's true they disagree here, but he's not offended. He's more concerned with how he should word his views, how he thinks that the old ways are dead and gone, but how do you tell that to a man who clings desperately to them?
Zura's firm grip is growing looser by the day, however, he's seeing things more realistically and in color. Things aren't as black and white as they used to be and Sakamoto is proud of his friend for changing and growing as a person, instead of staying stuck in the same rut one terrible incident might have trapped him in.]
You talkin' about the dogs of the bakufu? Yeah, they're just pawns. They ain't bad guys though. I think some of 'em are just proud to have a badge.
[They're samurai from the country, with a kind leader who has his own ideals and way of keeping peace. That's what he's attempting to do, right? Keep peace.
Like Sakamoto is.]
Our issues are more complicated than that. The government's been rippin' people off for centuries, hell, that's how we are! You give any man an inch and he'll take a damn mile. Doesn't matter what kinda skin ya got, scaly, humanoid, whatever-
They've brought us things too. I know, I know it doesn't bring anyone or anythin' back-
[He has a lot of feelings about this, apparently.]
But you enjoy them don'tcha? The phones, television, even the gaming consoles or whatever... People are livin' longer. Hell, we can cast off and set sail into space! You scoff at them but you take advantage of all the stuff that's come with 'em.
[ Katsura didn't have a problem with the phones, the television, the videogames.. anything like that. He was guilty as charged to be one of those who partook in the newer, modern and even futuristic technology and found it very convenient. It's what they are doing and the restrictions they are giving on this country he had so much pride in. They are basically putting ownership on people who should only belong to their country. They are power-hungry and whittling this place dry into nothing. A country that once flourished and brimmed with bold samurai.
Katsura doesn't say anything, allowing his body to fall against Sakamoto's shoulder with the second drink in hand. Everything he had fought for many years ago was in vain, but he refused to face the facts: the war was lost and Shouyou was dead. His voice is hushed, sounding somber. ]
If the Amanto didn't do what they've done— [ Zura lifts the glass to his mouth. ]
They would be alive.
[ Shouyou wouldn't have any need to be arrested. Takasugi wouldn't have any reason to be insane. Gintoki wouldn't have any reason to be killed. ]
Maybe Sakamoto is too gentle of a man, he's felt just as much pity for other side, watching them die in the dirt despite all the wicked things they've done. And yet still, even despite his friends chagrin and harsh words, he doesn't feel guilty.
He just feels sad.]
I just want it all ta end. I don't think fightin's the way to go about it- Not that kind.
[Sakamoto awkwardly touches the back of his neck with his injured hand.]
Not like I can anymore! But, eh.
People like you are extraordinary, y'know?
[They hardly exist, anymore.]
You believe in things. People, ideals.
The folks involved in all o' this mess, on both sides... They believe in money.
[He then embraces Zura, holding him close as if to comfort him though he knows he's only comforting himself.]
I wanna live in a world where we can all get along. Where we're all different but happy! A world where nobody has to die.
[A hollow laugh leaves his throat.]
I know that's just sounds crazy. But I'm gonna give it my all.
I'm gonna do my best to get as close as I can.
[Violence eats away at him, there's just no sense in it. Why deal in blood when you can deal in cash? One of those currencies is just too damn valuable...]
[ Katsura doesn't mind the embrace— in fact, Sakamoto probably feels his body relax into his hold. Zura wasn't one who was against violence as much as his friend who seemed to be a complete pacifist at times when it came to fist and weapon combat. Tatsuma was free to believe what he wanted to, but he was wrong.
Katsura downs the drink so his hands are free. He's not hardly drunk, but he is starting to feel looser and more subdued. Sakamoto has a great idea in mind.. but it's unrealistic. There's no way it can happen— not with how depraved people can be; not how cruel life can be. Not when the things that are so precious to you have been snatched up in an instant. It's things like that which prove to Katsura that there is no pleasant utopia where everyone can get along. Love and peace doesn't just come; it has to be fought for and with a painful price.
He's touching on a sensitive topic of conversation for Katsura, but.. Zura holds an extreme amount of patience with him. Hearing Tatsuma speak like this was encouraging even if Katsura knew there was no way it could never be. Just the way he called him extraordinary, well. Sakamoto is pretty extraordinary himself for having such a colossal amount of optimism.
Katsura lulls his head back, against the crook of Sakamoto's neck and against his chest to look up at him. ]
—There are people who aren't like you, Sakamoto. And they just increase as the days go by and they feel more hopeless.
[ He practically snuggles into his friend, feeling a slight buzz. ]
So don't change. [ even if he disagrees with you. ]
But he knows what they want, and how they operate. Their ruthless selfishness is something that is common to Amanto and humans, the struggle to succeed and amass as much as possible is nothing new. Everyone cheats, so Sakamoto does the same.
This is the best way.
Or so he thinks.]
I know that people are scum.
[Sakamoto's glass lies on the table, untouched. Instead, his hands busy themselves with his friend's body, one burying into dark locks and the other keeping stead.]
[ Katsura lets out a sigh. One thing was certain: they both never took their eyes off something when they really focused on it. Katsura was focused on saving Japan, but Sakamoto's goal was much bigger and much more complicated. He commended Tatsuma for that, but didn't find it something that could ever be accomplished.
Because Tatsuma wanted to save the entire universe. It was absolutely selfless, where Katsura was a bit selfish in his ways.
It feels good; feeling his friend's fingers rub into his tight shoulders. Katsura feels his own arm looping around Sakamoto's back and around his waist just so he could be a little closer to him.
[Sakamoto understands that his goal will never be achieved within his lifetime, or ever perhaps, but this is why it's what he aims for. This way, he will always be working towards something.]
I dunno why I got all excited, talkin' it up like that!
[He huddles closer to Zura. Maybe they shouldn't be touching like this, they have before, but that was in the midst of rain and sleet and snow with little to cover themselves with but each other. Sakamoto turns red not knowing why, not understanding that he's embarrassed because this is something lovers do more often than friends.]
I know you love this place.
[Zura will never come to space with him. This is temporary.]
[ No, it doesn't encourage Katsura to leave the place he has devoted himself to in the least, but it does get his mind going and thinking idly on Sakamoto's ideas and goals. A small chuff of laughter escapes his lips at the mere idea of everyone living in harmony and getting along— though to Sakamoto he's just chuckling at something unexplained. That's just not how it goes and it'll never be that way. It's something he wishes too, but he has his mind set on more realistic dreams.
Sakamoto confirms exactly what he is thinking. He loves this place too much.
Zura's cheeks are also red, but it's mainly from beginning to feel more of the buzz. He isn't one to drink very much, but isn't one against drinking either. He finds enjoyment in it too, even if he may turn right back around and tell others how it is poison to the soul.
He reaches over Sakamoto, placing his palm that was around his friend on the bed to steady himself while the other hand and stretches it to obtain the glass. How very elegant.
Then, he simmers right back into his cozy seat against Tatsuma, idly sipping from his third drink. ]
—I know you love space. [ He says quietly. He knows he could never get Sakamoto back here; back to join his group of rebels to change Japan. He's not sure what good any of it means to Sakamoto anymore since.. he can't very well use a sword anymore anyway. What does it matter if they are banned to him? ]
[Sakamoto's lips are centimeter's from Zura's forehead, parted into something like a twisted smile. Just hearing the word fills him with a breathless kind of joy, because of what it means to him.
The scent that wafts into Sakamoto's nostrils is a variation on a theme, artificial and delicate in nature, something floral and very beautiful. It's not nearly as cheap as the one he's used to, an odor meant to conceal the stench of misfortune and dissatisfaction, one that often lingers on his clothes even the morning after.
[ No, isn't just a sad pretty girl. He's a sad, pretty man.. who conceals himself rather well when it really hurts. At least he is usually genuine, especially when it comes to his friends.
This third glass is about half empty and Katsura feels.. comfortable. Not exactly tipsy but not exactly drunk either. His gaze is a bit heavy, peering up at Sakamoto. ]
Why wouldn't it be? [ not the answer Sakamoto was expecting, probably. Sakamoto is his dear friend; especially with the passing of Gintoki and Takasugi, who was a lost cause at this rate. It only encouraged him to cling to what he could trust and love with all of his heart.
Was it romantic love? Katsura didn't know, but he didn't spend much thought analyzing it like he often did with other things. It didn't matter. Sakamoto was Sakamoto and Sakamoto knew him as Katsura. Did it really have to be love or friendship? Couldn't it just be them?
Zura finishes off the glass competely and doesn't let the empty cup go, but does drape that one arm around Sakamoto's middle. Tatsuma probably feels his body erupt with a small and quiet hiccup. ]
[ Katsura pulls away for a moment so he can look at him straight in the eyes, an unreadable expression crossing his face. Was he doing something to make Sakamoto feel uncomfortable? Maybe Zura was the one crossing the line here and not Sakamoto... should they not do stuff like this? ]
Haaaa—? Sakamoto... you mean to tell me you're... [ you're completely straight..?! Well..... he doesn't finish his sentence. He figures Sakamoto can piece it together on his own. But there's no way. No way somebody like Sakamoto is just flat out heterosexual.. right? ]
[ What did it matter, though? Gay, straight, bi.. whatever. The affection that Sakamoto was giving him was genuine. He knew that. He blinks his lashes for awhile. ]
Ah. I won't judge you. You are free to be as you are— but.. [ but.. His voice quiets, hovering closer to Sakamoto to where their noses nearly touch. ]
[It's so much better than anything he's ever had, though he fails to admit that. He doesn't think it's fair to burden his grieving friend with his own petty issues, things he can't really explain.
(Because he hasn't thought about them at length. He never does.)
Sadness is less productive than joy.]
It's not 'cause you're a guy, really, I've-
[He reaches out to tenderly trace the outline of Zura's lower lip with his thumb again, imagining how his own tongue would feel against it. In an even quieter voice, though he doesn't sound ashamed, necessarily:]
I've looked, before. C'mon! You know a guy like me doesn't care about that kinda stuff. I just care.
[What he's trying to say is that he's never been allowed to get this close before. That it's exciting and he wants more of it, but he can't ask because it'd be too selfish.
[ Katsura feels his lips curl upward in a small smile when he feels Sakamoto brush his thumb over his lip, another hiccup bubbling within the back of his throat. Sakamoto is admitting to him something kinda big, isn't he? It's surprising, really. Zura just figured he was the guy that has done it all; slept with any and all kinds. Somehow, he finds this very fond. Somebody wants to be close and intimate to him and it's.. special. Katsura didn't run from his emotions like what he was feeling unlike Gintoki who guarded himself carefully. It was kind of pathetic; how big and open Katsura's soul could be. It was almost dangerous. His heart warms and it carries up his face, fingers idly toying with Sakamoto's clothing— right along the seam near his chest.
He's feeling pretty good, but.. if he is understanding correctly, that means Katsura was his first guy to be intimate with, wasn't it? That made him feel.. special. What did it exactly mean? He didn't really want to sit and analyze it right now and instead responds with his gut feeling. His hands venture, running up Sakamoto's shoulders and resting there. ]
I had no idea. [ —that you didn't do stuff like this often with men. He leans forward and bumps his head against Sakamoto's, practically speaking against him. ]
We're having a good time. Aren't we? [ In the midst of a sad season for both of them. ]
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no subject
When Sakamoto turns around, he will gesture to his right shoulder. ]
This side has been trouble, you know. Carrying the burden of countrywide reformation takes a toll on me after awhile.
[ son of a bitch. ]
this is where it shifts from gintama to gay
Sure thing, Zura! You wanna sit down?
[Sakamoto jerks a thumb in the direction of the bed.]
gaytama
Oh, he wants to move him to the bed?
Katsura complies wordlessly, keeping an eye on the butler the entire time. He sits with his knees together and his legs off the side of the bed, fingers curled into the top of the duvet. ]
no subject
Sakamoto casually slings an arm over Zura's shoulder after he sits down, a harmless gesture in his mind. For some reason, it seems to only make the staff member leave the room in an even more hurried manner. Reaching over, the merchant begins to rub the shoulder that's farthest from him.]
You want a glass? Sorry it's not sake.
[Smiling, because he knows Zura will find this amusing:]
The sake they serve here is shit.
no subject
Yet, here he is skipping out on his leadership role to spend some much needed and desired attention delivered from his teenage friend. How pathetic.
He finally speaks, appearing rather haughty for a moment. ]
I believe it. They don't know anything of our culture.
[ Though, he looks at Tatsuma expectantly. Yes, he'll take some. ]
no subject
Sakamoto offers Zura a glass with his free hand, not responding at first. It's clear that he's thinking, a diplomat at heart.]
What do you know of theirs?
[Their culture.
Asked curiously, not with the intent of offending or with an accusatory tone.]
no subject
[ He is honest, at least. He takes the glass and lifts it to his lips, taking a sip and enjoying the feel as it rushed down his throat. ]
But I am not invading their homes and trying to abolish their ways or what they hold dear to themselves.
That is what I have an issue with.
[ He knows of the Amanto people. They care about each other and their kind that they love. That is how they are similar to humans, and Katsura had learned that long ago when he was going to terrorize an Amanto-only restaurant. That's what he knows of them, but not their customs, culture or what they like to drink in preference over Earth drinks. ]
No, I am defending of the ways we are proud of and what I hold dear to me and those who agree.
no subject
[Quietly.]
Zura.
[This is a loaded question, but despite having such different opinions and personalities, these two men have always gotten on very well.]
Ya think it would've been different? If the tables were turned.
[He clears his throat, to clarify.]
If we were the ones with the flyin' saucers and fancy machines, and we could-
[Sakamoto looks down at the ground, hoping that Zura will understand what he's getting at.]
Look, I'm not tryin' ta defend what they did.
[Because it hurt him too, but it's happened.]
But you really think we can just kick 'em out like that? Japan ain't what it used to be.
It's so different now.
[Earth has benefited from their technology, their medicines, their wealth.]
Even if we kick 'em out, it'll never be the same.
no subject
[ His answer is, unsurprisingly quick. Perhaps it was to protect his pride and the work that he had devoted himself to; throwing away his identity into something that will always and forever be tacked onto the title of "criminal." He knew this was something that Sakamoto's views have always been screwy with in his opinion, but Katsura stood firm on his passion to reform Japan back to it's old ways.
Back to the ways his sensei taught him over.
He wouldn't sugar coat it for Sakamoto and will step on his toes if he needs to. ]
Any samurai who agrees with them and finding that it is simply fine of what they are doing is a coward. Do they not realize what they are doing? They come here, with barking, but sink their teeth in our very lifestyle— what a true samurai devotes himself to. The sword, the protection of this country. No, they are cowards.
[ —Such as the Shinsengumi. He shuts his eyes and seals his lips over the glass, finishing off the first drink. He holds out the glass to Tatsuma, wanting more. You've got him on a topic he feels he needs more drink to discuss with you. ]
Who do they think they are, anyway? We had an agreement with them; to open up trade. Not have our country re-positioned for their own benefit and have ourselves stripped of our culture. It makes me feel vulnerable and ashamed.
no subject
Zura's firm grip is growing looser by the day, however, he's seeing things more realistically and in color. Things aren't as black and white as they used to be and Sakamoto is proud of his friend for changing and growing as a person, instead of staying stuck in the same rut one terrible incident might have trapped him in.]
You talkin' about the dogs of the bakufu? Yeah, they're just pawns. They ain't bad guys though. I think some of 'em are just proud to have a badge.
[They're samurai from the country, with a kind leader who has his own ideals and way of keeping peace. That's what he's attempting to do, right? Keep peace.
Like Sakamoto is.]
Our issues are more complicated than that. The government's been rippin' people off for centuries, hell, that's how we are! You give any man an inch and he'll take a damn mile. Doesn't matter what kinda skin ya got, scaly, humanoid, whatever-
They've brought us things too. I know, I know it doesn't bring anyone or anythin' back-
[He has a lot of feelings about this, apparently.]
But you enjoy them don'tcha? The phones, television, even the gaming consoles or whatever... People are livin' longer. Hell, we can cast off and set sail into space! You scoff at them but you take advantage of all the stuff that's come with 'em.
no subject
Katsura doesn't say anything, allowing his body to fall against Sakamoto's shoulder with the second drink in hand. Everything he had fought for many years ago was in vain, but he refused to face the facts: the war was lost and Shouyou was dead.
His voice is hushed, sounding somber. ]
If the Amanto didn't do what they've done—
[ Zura lifts the glass to his mouth. ]
They would be alive.
[ Shouyou wouldn't have any need to be arrested. Takasugi wouldn't have any reason to be insane. Gintoki wouldn't have any reason to be killed. ]
So don't give me that crap.
no subject
[So why has he always felt so disgusted?
Maybe Sakamoto is too gentle of a man, he's felt just as much pity for other side, watching them die in the dirt despite all the wicked things they've done. And yet still, even despite his friends chagrin and harsh words, he doesn't feel guilty.
He just feels sad.]
I just want it all ta end. I don't think fightin's the way to go about it- Not that kind.
[Sakamoto awkwardly touches the back of his neck with his injured hand.]
Not like I can anymore! But, eh.
People like you are extraordinary, y'know?
[They hardly exist, anymore.]
You believe in things. People, ideals.
The folks involved in all o' this mess, on both sides... They believe in money.
[He then embraces Zura, holding him close as if to comfort him though he knows he's only comforting himself.]
I wanna live in a world where we can all get along. Where we're all different but happy! A world where nobody has to die.
[A hollow laugh leaves his throat.]
I know that's just sounds crazy. But I'm gonna give it my all.
I'm gonna do my best to get as close as I can.
[Violence eats away at him, there's just no sense in it. Why deal in blood when you can deal in cash? One of those currencies is just too damn valuable...]
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk so much.
no subject
Katsura downs the drink so his hands are free. He's not hardly drunk, but he is starting to feel looser and more subdued. Sakamoto has a great idea in mind.. but it's unrealistic. There's no way it can happen— not with how depraved people can be; not how cruel life can be. Not when the things that are so precious to you have been snatched up in an instant. It's things like that which prove to Katsura that there is no pleasant utopia where everyone can get along. Love and peace doesn't just come; it has to be fought for and with a painful price.
He's touching on a sensitive topic of conversation for Katsura, but.. Zura holds an extreme amount of patience with him. Hearing Tatsuma speak like this was encouraging even if Katsura knew there was no way it could never be. Just the way he called him extraordinary, well. Sakamoto is pretty extraordinary himself for having such a colossal amount of optimism.
Katsura lulls his head back, against the crook of Sakamoto's neck and against his chest to look up at him. ]
—There are people who aren't like you, Sakamoto.
And they just increase as the days go by and they feel more hopeless.
[ He practically snuggles into his friend, feeling a slight buzz. ]
So don't change.
[ even if he disagrees with you. ]
no subject
His clients sure as hell aren't.
But he knows what they want, and how they operate. Their ruthless selfishness is something that is common to Amanto and humans, the struggle to succeed and amass as much as possible is nothing new. Everyone cheats, so Sakamoto does the same.
This is the best way.
Or so he thinks.]
I know that people are scum.
[Sakamoto's glass lies on the table, untouched. Instead, his hands busy themselves with his friend's body, one burying into dark locks and the other keeping stead.]
I just like 'em anyway.
no subject
Because Tatsuma wanted to save the entire universe.
It was absolutely selfless, where Katsura was a bit selfish in his ways.
It feels good; feeling his friend's fingers rub into his tight shoulders. Katsura feels his own arm looping around Sakamoto's back and around his waist just so he could be a little closer to him.
He doesn't say anything. ]
no subject
I dunno why I got all excited, talkin' it up like that!
[He huddles closer to Zura. Maybe they shouldn't be touching like this, they have before, but that was in the midst of rain and sleet and snow with little to cover themselves with but each other. Sakamoto turns red not knowing why, not understanding that he's embarrassed because this is something lovers do more often than friends.]
I know you love this place.
[Zura will never come to space with him. This is temporary.]
I don't think I'm gonna finish that! You want it?
[He means the glass of wine.]
no subject
Sakamoto confirms exactly what he is thinking. He loves this place too much.
Zura's cheeks are also red, but it's mainly from beginning to feel more of the buzz. He isn't one to drink very much, but isn't one against drinking either. He finds enjoyment in it too, even if he may turn right back around and tell others how it is poison to the soul.
He reaches over Sakamoto, placing his palm that was around his friend on the bed to steady himself while the other hand and stretches it to obtain the glass. How very elegant.
Then, he simmers right back into his cozy seat against Tatsuma, idly sipping from his third drink. ]
—I know you love space.
[ He says quietly.
He knows he could never get Sakamoto back here; back to join his group of rebels to change Japan. He's not sure what good any of it means to Sakamoto anymore since.. he can't very well use a sword anymore anyway. What does it matter if they are banned to him? ]
no subject
[Sakamoto's lips are centimeter's from Zura's forehead, parted into something like a twisted smile. Just hearing the word fills him with a breathless kind of joy, because of what it means to him.
The scent that wafts into Sakamoto's nostrils is a variation on a theme, artificial and delicate in nature, something floral and very beautiful. It's not nearly as cheap as the one he's used to, an odor meant to conceal the stench of misfortune and dissatisfaction, one that often lingers on his clothes even the morning after.
Zura is not some sad, pretty girl.]
I'm too close, huh.
[Last night was probably a one-time thing.
So why does he want more of it?]
Is this okay?
no subject
This third glass is about half empty and Katsura feels.. comfortable. Not exactly tipsy but not exactly drunk either. His gaze is a bit heavy, peering up at Sakamoto. ]
Why wouldn't it be?
[ not the answer Sakamoto was expecting, probably. Sakamoto is his dear friend; especially with the passing of Gintoki and Takasugi, who was a lost cause at this rate. It only encouraged him to cling to what he could trust and love with all of his heart.
Was it romantic love? Katsura didn't know, but he didn't spend much thought analyzing it like he often did with other things. It didn't matter. Sakamoto was Sakamoto and Sakamoto knew him as Katsura. Did it really have to be love or friendship? Couldn't it just be them?
Zura finishes off the glass competely and doesn't let the empty cup go, but does drape that one arm around Sakamoto's middle.
Tatsuma probably feels his body erupt with a small and quiet hiccup. ]
no subject
[Sakamoto prefers not to give whatever they have a label either, but he wants to know what he can and can't do.
Can they kiss, at the very least? Zura looks tired.]
I don't usually do this kind of stuff with guys.
[He never has.]
1.2
Haaaa—? Sakamoto... you mean to tell me you're...
[ you're completely straight..?! Well..... he doesn't finish his sentence. He figures Sakamoto can piece it together on his own.
But there's no way. No way somebody like Sakamoto is just flat out heterosexual.. right? ]
2.2
Ah. I won't judge you. You are free to be as you are— but..
[ but..
His voice quiets, hovering closer to Sakamoto to where their noses nearly touch. ]
Do you like this? With me?
edit
[It's so much better than anything he's ever had, though he fails to admit that. He doesn't think it's fair to burden his grieving friend with his own petty issues, things he can't really explain.
(Because he hasn't thought about them at length. He never does.)
Sadness is less productive than joy.]
It's not 'cause you're a guy, really, I've-
[He reaches out to tenderly trace the outline of Zura's lower lip with his thumb again, imagining how his own tongue would feel against it. In an even quieter voice, though he doesn't sound ashamed, necessarily:]
I've looked, before. C'mon! You know a guy like me doesn't care about that kinda stuff. I just care.
[What he's trying to say is that he's never been allowed to get this close before. That it's exciting and he wants more of it, but he can't ask because it'd be too selfish.
The words die in his throat.]
What are we really doin' here?
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Sakamoto is admitting to him something kinda big, isn't he? It's surprising, really. Zura just figured he was the guy that has done it all; slept with any and all kinds. Somehow, he finds this very fond. Somebody wants to be close and intimate to him and it's.. special. Katsura didn't run from his emotions like what he was feeling unlike Gintoki who guarded himself carefully. It was kind of pathetic; how big and open Katsura's soul could be. It was almost dangerous.
His heart warms and it carries up his face, fingers idly toying with Sakamoto's clothing— right along the seam near his chest.
He's feeling pretty good, but.. if he is understanding correctly, that means Katsura was his first guy to be intimate with, wasn't it? That made him feel.. special. What did it exactly mean? He didn't really want to sit and analyze it right now and instead responds with his gut feeling.
His hands venture, running up Sakamoto's shoulders and resting there. ]
I had no idea.
[ —that you didn't do stuff like this often with men. He leans forward and bumps his head against Sakamoto's, practically speaking against him. ]
We're having a good time. Aren't we?
[ In the midst of a sad season for both of them. ]
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[His expression brightens again, blue eyes making contact with brown ones, bright like the sky they stare up at so often.]
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