[Sakamoto recognizes the signs of distress, because he had always been so peripheral back then, and not as entirely motivated by glory of winning a war. What pulled him through those dark times was the ability to be fighting alongside people he admired, people he knew were going to make a difference, and people he hoped would see him as an equal.
As a friend, somebody they cared about.
He opts to avoid words at this time, as Zura isn't likely to listen to him or change his mind about anything at all, not when he's feeling down like this. Reaching out, he grips one of the other's wrists very gently, in an attempt to pull it from the other's face. Insistently:]
[ Katsura doesn't seem to pull his hand back when Sakamoto decides to grab him by the wrist, honestly a bit surprised that he would boldly touch him right now. He can only pull his gaze at Sakamoto, though the corner of his eyes were pricked with tears.
The words he speak captivate him for a brief moment, sweeping him into a mild state of confusion. Tatsuma is complimenting him? Just like that? Unlike Gintoki, Katsura was concerned about his strength. Gintoki just wanted to do good for people so they wouldn't suffer like he does. Katsura, though, wanted to be recognized and adored for the things he could do and the strength he possessed.
He has to ask to be sure: ]
W..What? Ah.. [ He pulls his gaze to the ground, but allows Sakamoto to hold his wrist if he wants to. ]
I suppose I am strong when it comes to losing a Jenga game.. Or when I have to hold myself when the bathroom is occupied. [ ah. Then, with some more confidence, he looks back up at Sakamoto: ]
Yes, my bladder is very strong. [ Zura no.. that's not what he means. ]
[Sakamoto fights the urge to reach out and pull Zura in, to hold his hand as if they were something more than friends. Friends can hold hands too, right? Yes, yes! Of course! Why is he being so silly?
The gears visibly turn in his head. Despite his attempt to quiet those strange ideas, he does laugh in response to Zura's peculiar choice of words.]
Ahahaha~! No, no!
You've always been a sore loser. That's not what I'm talkin' about.
[He's laughing so loudly, he doesn't even hear the bladder thing.]
You've been through so much, Zura. And still, ya don't throw in the towel! While some may call that stupid-
[ You've been through so much, he says. Nobody ever recognizes that about him. Nobody ever really tries to show sympathy for what he has gone through— back home or here‚ but right now in this moment, what Zura hears from Sakamoto almost surprises him. His throat tightens up slightly. He doesn't know what else to say, so his hand inches closer to Sakamoto's until his fingers delicately curve around Sakamoto's hand.
He closes his eyes and squeezes Sakamoto's palm, turning his face away from him again, mainly because he is beginning to feel a small smile form on his face and his cheeks beginning to burn. ]
[Sakamoto takes note of the way Zura's fingers curl around his own, relinquishing a sigh of relief as he does. He's finally managed to say something that stems a somewhat normal, predictable reaction from the other.
Make no mistake, this isn't some carefully planned gesture, a ploy, sales pitch. He's believed this truly and very deeply for many years, and perhaps that's why he's been kind enough to let all the others' grievances roll off his shoulders.
[ what is this cocky reply???? Is Sakamoto trying to prove something? Like maybe he knows Katsura better than Zura knows him? Or something like that? The mood suddenly changes, a bit lighter (thank goodness) as he begins to chide Sakamoto. This is a nice distraction from what he is feeling. Something about having Tatsuma near him made him worry less. ]
Haaa? What is with that response.. ? Are you saying you think I don't know you better..? Sakamoto! [ HE KNOWS PLENTY ABOUT YOU! More than you know about him! Nevertheless, his hand doesn't leave Sakamoto's. In fact, he might have gotten closer just so he can look at his friend directly in the face, his cheeks beginning to puff up slightly. ]
Sakamoto has listened, has learned about Zura's childhood. But to be fair, the other has never bothered to mention a thing about his own history, despite being so deeply interested in the lives of others.]
Everything that's important.
[There was one, one very small thing he mentioned to a particularly shitty pirate a while back. It seems so long ago now, because they've been in this awful place for too many months, but he mentioned that...
He hasn't really changed at all, as a person, as a human being.]
I'm an idiot! I have been my whole life.
[Something about that determined look on his face seems to say otherwise.]
That's just it.
[But what do you know about his life, Zura? Anything at all? What his mother and father were like, how many siblings he has-]
[ Katsura listens to Sakamoto, dipping his head down slightly, dark eyes landing on their hands. He hasn't held hands with somebody in so long, it seems. Elizabeth had a flipper; that didn't count. His fingers loosen, the edges of them idly skirting over Sakamoto's inner wrist, taking in the feel of his skin. It's true, though, now that Sakamoto mentions it. He's been a mystery man out of the four and Katsura is curious. Zura falls quiet, still tracing his palm with his finger, up and down the gaps between Sakamoto's fingers then down his wrist.
It's been so good to have him here for the time being. ]
Ah. I've got it.
[ he looks at Sakamoto, a smile forming on his lips and his eyes brightening (finally.) He's leaning in a little closer, as if he is telling Sakamoto a secret. ]
[Sakamoto is distracted by the way Zura's girly fingers toy with his tired hands, as it's been a while since he's been touched like this.
That and he feels even more strange when Zura makes that bold statement, as never once before have the Joui bothered with his history. As a merchant, it was his job to sell the soldiers and their cause to potential benefactors, so he researched the lives of the best merchandise.
He's happy, sure enough, that someone has at least shown an ounce of interest in what lies beneath the surface, but-]
Fat chance!
I'm hellbent on winnin' this game.
[Mostly because he likes learning about you, Zura.
[ Fine. You be that way. Zura's cheeks puff up slightly, and, as if resulting to playful violence will somehow let Sakamoto give way and at least tell him some things about himself, he retreats his hand from Sakamoto's presence and proceeds to try and shove him over. His palm firmly rests against Sakamoto's shoulder as he pushes Sakamoto, hoping to at least knock him over on the empty side of the couch.
If he succeeds, he glances down at Sakamoto darkly. Was that a throw pillow he had in his palms? He's taking up the defense, everyone. It's going to smack right against his face if Tatsuma says something dumb. ]
I do not want to bet anything. [ Which means he does. He loves competition. ]
You have the upper hand already. It wouldn't be fair.
[Sakamoto plops down onto the couch, wincing as he eyes the pillow in Zura's hand. The guy's got a strong arm! Terrifying. It's terrifying!]
W-wait? Why are you so mad?!
You've never asked me anything! About that kind of stuff...
Ahhhhh! But I guess it might've seemed like I didn't want to talk about it, or somethin' like that. That's just 'cause! Who I've been 'n who I am... Ahaha~!
[He tilts his head to the side.]
They're one and the same.
[As vague as he gets about this kind of thing, he's given time to think for a second. A person's curiosity about one's past is reflects an extended sense of interest, a desire for closeness.
Zura is a close friend, right? Perhaps sharing a detail or two won't hurt.]
[ Ugh. Sakamoto looks so cute when he's confused— Katsura cannot help but feel his cheeks light up at the sight of him plopped sideways on the couch and act so innocent. His last comment, though. Zura gives him a moment. It's true, a new desire has budded in Zura's mind and heart. He wants to be more intimate with Sakamoto— not so much physically as emotionally.
Zura wondered why.
He seems flustered about the whole ordeal, so he just stuffs the pillow in Sakamoto's face, smothering him without much word or explanation. Stop. Hide that cute face. ]
[ Katsura gets some kind of odd pleasure from making Sakamoto suffer— not exactly in his suffering but the fact he has control of the situation, something as innocent as a pillow fight. Though, his joy doesn't linger long, and neither does it show on his face, eyes glaring down at the wiggling idiot beneath the throw pillow. When he thinks Sakamoto has had enough, he releases the pillow, but lets it rest on Sakamoto's face. Sakamoto can probably hear Zura sigh in frustration before he adds on: ]
Your face already does. [ He speaks calmly and quietly. He remembers what your balls look like, man. It's been years, but he remembers all of that hair. ]
[Then how do you know, Zura? If they're even lopsided at all! Maybe there's something else hiding under all that hair. Like a tiny colony of small rodents, or a nuclear missile.]
Hey, what's that supposed to mean? No! No it doesn't!
I shaved this morning! There's no way.
[He knows his balls are hairy.
Cut him some slack.]
My head may be wooly, but the head of the wooliest mammoth...
[DON't FOLD UR ARMS THERE IS NOTHING PROFOUND ABOUT WHAT UR ABOOT 2 SAY]
[He should be about ready to be assaulted at this point, but instead he dares to do something bold. He catches hold of the hand on his shoulder, holding the fingers as though they belong to a beautiful woman.
Maybe this kind of distraction is what Zura needs- In being so focused, he often loses sight of things that really matter (like his own mental health).]
[ What.. was this? What was with that sudden question? Katsura can only stare at Sakamoto as the blush spreads to his ears. How could Sakamoto ask something like that so suddenly?
Though, was he giving off signs like maybe he did? Did he harbor those kind of feelings for Sakamoto? Zura hadn't even thought of it until now as he remembered fond memories of their time back home.. and here. Here. Where Zura insisted Sakamoto live with him, they shared the same bed and were very close.. he didn't remember wanting to have those sort of feelings with Sakamoto back home.
What actually caused this?
He denies it. ]
I do not! [ PULLS HIS HAND AWAY. he's stressed right now, Sakamoto! ] You're misunderstanding everything..!
[Sakamoto watches as the steam practically pours out of Katsura's ears.
He has to remind himself that this is all in jest.
The other Joui have never looked at him in quite the same way, after all, they've never donned the rose-colored lenses he sees the world through every day. Each member holds a special place in his heart, and while at first Gintoki had wormed his way into the biggest, Sakamoto's time with Katsura is leveling out the playing field there, too.
What he hopes is that he doesn't have to watch a beautiful man become ugly at heart.]
[ He doesn't need this conversation right now. His heart skips a beat, unsure of what Sakamoto really meant by that. Was he joking? Was he implying something? Naturally, Zura takes it all very seriously, so all he can do at this point is stand to his feet. Sakamoto was either confessing something right now or horsing around, and Zura can only really assume the latter from Sakamoto's cheery personality.
Zura radiated confidence, but there was a part of him that had a low self esteem from being pushed away so much and left in so much isolation in his life.
With his back towards Sakamoto, he begins to make his exit from the living room. ]
—Don't talk that way.
[ He wants love so much. It wasn't something to joke about. ]
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no subject
As a friend, somebody they cared about.
He opts to avoid words at this time, as Zura isn't likely to listen to him or change his mind about anything at all, not when he's feeling down like this. Reaching out, he grips one of the other's wrists very gently, in an attempt to pull it from the other's face. Insistently:]
You're not weak.
[To be fair, he is telling the truth.]
You're one of the strongest people I know.
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The words he speak captivate him for a brief moment, sweeping him into a mild state of confusion. Tatsuma is complimenting him? Just like that?
Unlike Gintoki, Katsura was concerned about his strength. Gintoki just wanted to do good for people so they wouldn't suffer like he does. Katsura, though, wanted to be recognized and adored for the things he could do and the strength he possessed.
He has to ask to be sure: ]
W..What? Ah..
[ He pulls his gaze to the ground, but allows Sakamoto to hold his wrist if he wants to. ]
I suppose I am strong when it comes to losing a Jenga game..
Or when I have to hold myself when the bathroom is occupied.
[ ah.
Then, with some more confidence, he looks back up at Sakamoto: ]
Yes, my bladder is very strong.
[ Zura no.. that's not what he means. ]
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The gears visibly turn in his head. Despite his attempt to quiet those strange ideas, he does laugh in response to Zura's peculiar choice of words.]
Ahahaha~! No, no!
You've always been a sore loser. That's not what I'm talkin' about.
[He's laughing so loudly, he doesn't even hear the bladder thing.]
You've been through so much, Zura. And still, ya don't throw in the towel! While some may call that stupid-
That looks a lot like strength ta me.
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His throat tightens up slightly. He doesn't know what else to say, so his hand inches closer to Sakamoto's until his fingers delicately curve around Sakamoto's hand.
He closes his eyes and squeezes Sakamoto's palm, turning his face away from him again, mainly because he is beginning to feel a small smile form on his face and his cheeks beginning to burn. ]
—Thank you.
[ then quietly: ]
I think you are strong too.
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Make no mistake, this isn't some carefully planned gesture, a ploy, sales pitch. He's believed this truly and very deeply for many years, and perhaps that's why he's been kind enough to let all the others' grievances roll off his shoulders.
With a smile as defiant as the wind, he utters:]
I know.
[He always has.]
But thank you.
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Is Sakamoto trying to prove something? Like maybe he knows Katsura better than Zura knows him? Or something like that? The mood suddenly changes, a bit lighter (thank goodness) as he begins to chide Sakamoto. This is a nice distraction from what he is feeling. Something about having Tatsuma near him made him worry less. ]
Haaa? What is with that response.. ? Are you saying you think I don't know you better..?
Sakamoto!
[ HE KNOWS PLENTY ABOUT YOU! More than you know about him! Nevertheless, his hand doesn't leave Sakamoto's. In fact, he might have gotten closer just so he can look at his friend directly in the face, his cheeks beginning to puff up slightly. ]
no subject
You know enough.
[There's a sly, asshat-y look on his face.
Sakamoto has listened, has learned about Zura's childhood. But to be fair, the other has never bothered to mention a thing about his own history, despite being so deeply interested in the lives of others.]
Everything that's important.
[There was one, one very small thing he mentioned to a particularly shitty pirate a while back. It seems so long ago now, because they've been in this awful place for too many months, but he mentioned that...
He hasn't really changed at all, as a person, as a human being.]
I'm an idiot! I have been my whole life.
[Something about that determined look on his face seems to say otherwise.]
That's just it.
[But what do you know about his life, Zura? Anything at all? What his mother and father were like, how many siblings he has-]
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[ Katsura listens to Sakamoto, dipping his head down slightly, dark eyes landing on their hands. He hasn't held hands with somebody in so long, it seems. Elizabeth had a flipper; that didn't count. His fingers loosen, the edges of them idly skirting over Sakamoto's inner wrist, taking in the feel of his skin.
It's true, though, now that Sakamoto mentions it. He's been a mystery man out of the four and Katsura is curious. Zura falls quiet, still tracing his palm with his finger, up and down the gaps between Sakamoto's fingers then down his wrist.
It's been so good to have him here for the time being. ]
Ah.
I've got it.
[ he looks at Sakamoto, a smile forming on his lips and his eyes brightening (finally.) He's leaning in a little closer, as if he is telling Sakamoto a secret. ]
I should learn more so I don't lose against you.
right in this au he never dated celty
That and he feels even more strange when Zura makes that bold statement, as never once before have the Joui bothered with his history. As a merchant, it was his job to sell the soldiers and their cause to potential benefactors, so he researched the lives of the best merchandise.
He's happy, sure enough, that someone has at least shown an ounce of interest in what lies beneath the surface, but-]
Fat chance!
I'm hellbent on winnin' this game.
[Mostly because he likes learning about you, Zura.
(that and u r a lil transparent honey)]
Hey, let's make things interesting. Wanna bet?
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Zura's cheeks puff up slightly, and, as if resulting to playful violence will somehow let Sakamoto give way and at least tell him some things about himself, he retreats his hand from Sakamoto's presence and proceeds to try and shove him over. His palm firmly rests against Sakamoto's shoulder as he pushes Sakamoto, hoping to at least knock him over on the empty side of the couch.
If he succeeds, he glances down at Sakamoto darkly. Was that a throw pillow he had in his palms? He's taking up the defense, everyone. It's going to smack right against his face if Tatsuma says something dumb. ]
I do not want to bet anything.
[ Which means he does. He loves competition. ]
You have the upper hand already. It wouldn't be fair.
no subject
W-wait? Why are you so mad?!
You've never asked me anything! About that kind of stuff...
Ahhhhh! But I guess it might've seemed like I didn't want to talk about it, or somethin' like that. That's just 'cause! Who I've been 'n who I am... Ahaha~!
[He tilts his head to the side.]
They're one and the same.
[As vague as he gets about this kind of thing, he's given time to think for a second. A person's curiosity about one's past is reflects an extended sense of interest, a desire for closeness.
Zura is a close friend, right? Perhaps sharing a detail or two won't hurt.]
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His last comment, though. Zura gives him a moment. It's true, a new desire has budded in Zura's mind and heart. He wants to be more intimate with Sakamoto— not so much physically as emotionally.
Zura wondered why.
He seems flustered about the whole ordeal, so he just stuffs the pillow in Sakamoto's face, smothering him without much word or explanation.
Stop. Hide that cute face. ]
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[Instead of actually taking the pillow into his own hands and saving himself from suffocation, Sakamoto flails miserably, like some sort of imbecile.
He hasn't the faintest clue what's going on inside Zura's head, although he'd be flattered to know that his friend finds the look on his face cute.]
Z-z-zura! My b*lls are already lopsided!
I don't want my face to match!
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Though, his joy doesn't linger long, and neither does it show on his face, eyes glaring down at the wiggling idiot beneath the throw pillow. When he thinks Sakamoto has had enough, he releases the pillow, but lets it rest on Sakamoto's face. Sakamoto can probably hear Zura sigh in frustration before he adds on: ]
Your face already does.
[ He speaks calmly and quietly. He remembers what your balls look like, man. It's been years, but he remembers all of that hair. ]
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Hey, what's that supposed to mean? No! No it doesn't!
I shaved this morning! There's no way.
[He knows his balls are hairy.
Cut him some slack.]
My head may be wooly, but the head of the wooliest mammoth...
[DON't FOLD UR ARMS THERE IS NOTHING PROFOUND ABOUT WHAT UR ABOOT 2 SAY]
Is definitely in my pants.
1.2
2.2
[ you're so gross, Sakamoto. ]
I do not need a reminder of that.
[ but look.. his face is blushing.....
he likes'm hairy, ok. ]
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[And now, it's Sakamoto's turn to be disgusted.]
How hairy my b*lls are.
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Sakamoto!
[ PUNCHES HIS SHOULDER??? ]
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Ah, y'know, Zura...
My stomach's pretty hairy, too. ♥
[There's no sign that he's giving up just yet.]
Wanna take a peek?
[He should be about ready to be assaulted at this point, but instead he dares to do something bold. He catches hold of the hand on his shoulder, holding the fingers as though they belong to a beautiful woman.
Maybe this kind of distraction is what Zura needs- In being so focused, he often loses sight of things that really matter (like his own mental health).]
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[ the look of both horror and embarrassment....
s-stop flirting with him at a time like this!! ]
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Whoa, Zura~! You're so red.
[As the other hasn't let go of his hand yet, Sakamoto pulls him in.]
Why? You got a crush on me?
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Katsura can only stare at Sakamoto as the blush spreads to his ears. How could Sakamoto ask something like that so suddenly?
Though, was he giving off signs like maybe he did? Did he harbor those kind of feelings for Sakamoto? Zura hadn't even thought of it until now as he remembered fond memories of their time back home.. and here. Here. Where Zura insisted Sakamoto live with him, they shared the same bed and were very close.. he didn't remember wanting to have those sort of feelings with Sakamoto back home.
What actually caused this?
He denies it. ]
I do not! [ PULLS HIS HAND AWAY. he's stressed right now, Sakamoto! ]
You're misunderstanding everything..!
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He has to remind himself that this is all in jest.
The other Joui have never looked at him in quite the same way, after all, they've never donned the rose-colored lenses he sees the world through every day. Each member holds a special place in his heart, and while at first Gintoki had wormed his way into the biggest, Sakamoto's time with Katsura is leveling out the playing field there, too.
What he hopes is that he doesn't have to watch a beautiful man become ugly at heart.]
Maybe you're the one who's misunderstandin'~!
[He teases.]
Maybe I'm the one who's got the crush.
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Zura radiated confidence, but there was a part of him that had a low self esteem from being pushed away so much and left in so much isolation in his life.
With his back towards Sakamoto, he begins to make his exit from the living room. ]
—Don't talk that way.
[ He wants love so much.
It wasn't something to joke about. ]
I have more important thing to do right now.
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