【CLOSED/NSFW】☆ two idiots, one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[bakudanma]

 
▶ CATCH-ALL SAKAZURA SINS WITH kaihentai 

or something ...

Comments

2/2

[kaihentai]

[So he's going to milk it for all it's worth.

What a con-man.]

A-ah, ahaha, yes! Very much yes!

[He presses a hand to his forehead dramatically.]

I'm feelin'... Faint.

[is that why ur nose is bleeding]

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ this piece of shit right here.

Of course, of all the people, Zura is going to worry over something as harmless as a fart.. because everything is serious with him.
Katsura rushes over to Sakamoto's side, placing his palms on his shoulders and encouraging him to sit down— but then.. ]</sub>

Is it okay to sit? Does it hurt to sit?
Ah.. how do I get medical attention for you?

[kaihentai]

[Sakamoto has to laugh at Zura's reaction. Only he would believe something this stupid.

The merchant plops onto the bed with a thud before reaching for one of Zura's hands and taking it gently.]

Sittin's alright.

[He doesn't need medical attention, Zura.

He just wants your attention.]

[bakudanma]

_{[ Well. That is a relief that he can sit.. but for how much longer?
Katsura feels his cheeks tint a very light color but he clears his throat, adverting his gaze to the side. ]}

—I can begin to assemble funeral arrangements for you.

_{[ KATSURA. IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS. ]}

And make your final days as enjoyable as you want them to be.
_{[ were.. his eyes beginning to tear up? ]}

[kaihentai]

[Most people would be very bothered by this, but Sakamoto is just determined to step up his theatrics.]

Ahhhhh, Zura~!

[He pulls the dark-haired samurai in with those obscenely defined arms, and buries his head in the other man's chest.]

I really think I'm dyin'.

[bakudanma]

_{[ ?????????? ]}

I won't allow it! Sakamoto!
_{[ ABSOLUTELY CLINGING. ]}

You can't! _{[ He can't have anything happen to you. You're the last person he is so attached to. ]}

If you die, I will die with you!
And I will arrange both of our funerals!

[kaihentai]

Yeah.

[This is all very sweet. Sakamoto can't remember the last time he's been in such close proximity with someone who actually expressed emotions in a normal, somewhat healthy way.

He looks up, his eyes earnest.]

My heart's been actin' real funny lately.

I dunno what that's all about.

1.2

[bakudanma]

Your heart?

2.2

[bakudanma]

That is at least twice as more important as your ***hole!
Sakamoto!
_{[ He jolts away. ]}

Why haven't you seen a doctor..!?

[kaihentai]

[How can Sakamoto smile so easily through all of Zura's distress.]

Stupid. ♥

What I got, it's not somethin' that fancy medicines and bigtime doctors can fix, alright?

Don'tcha get it?

[bakudanma]

_{[ Quietly, Katsura looks at him in the eyes, obviously concerned. His voice is soft and full of worry. ]}

N..No— does this mean that there isn't any hope for you..?
_{Ah, it's not stupid, it's Katsura.}

[kaihentai]

Listen.

[Earnestly.]

When it comes to this kinda thing, I'm not good at spellin' my feelings out.

[bakudanma]

SAKAMOTO!
<sub>[ The distress in his voice Is Real. He recoils, again, becoming louder and more hysteric. ]

[ Maybe Katsura was going to die alone after all. ]</sub>
Y—You can't say something like this so suddenly! Why haven't you told me..?

[kaihentai]

That I care about you?

[In a special way.]

Y'know, the others used to complain a whole lot. Ah, that Zura! He was always readin' in school. Keepin' up with homework 'n all that!

How come you're so literal, then? You couldn't tell?

I just wanted ta say somethin' nice.

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ He doesn't get it at first but then it suddenly hits him like a bolt.
Oh. He wasn't really dying— nothing was wrong with his heart.. it seemed like it was maybe some way for him to be affectionate to Zura? In an odd, Sakamoto kind of way.

Which is just perfect, but Katsura will have to get used to it.
Suddenly, Zura feels really silly.. ]</sub>

O—Oh. Ah. I see.
_{[ God. Calming down, now. ]}

Don't joke about things like that.
_{[ He doesn't sound stern, but makes a point that he means it. ]}

[kaihentai]

[He often jokes about things he shouldn't.]

Won't you come here? Now that ya understand.

[Sakamoto speaks in metaphors much of the time.

It makes things easier.]

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ Sakamoto often jokes and Katsura never does, so there is a problem right there. Not like it is a bad or big problem, but something they will have to understand about one another.

Kataura blinks, but takes a seat next to Sakamoto on the bed, looking at him inquisitively.
He clears his throat awkwardly and folds his hands neatly in his lap. ]</sub>

I'm glad it is nothing serious.

_{[ He's so scared that he'll lose you.
Not like Tatsuma needs to know the details about that. ]}

[kaihentai]

[Sakamoto smiles and turns to Zura, pressing his nose against the other's cheek.]

Yeah, me too! I wouldn't wanna leave ya all alone.

I know how much you'd hate that.

1.2

[bakudanma]

You did that enough as it was— flying about space all through these years and only coming to Earth so often..

<sub>[ He doesn't react to feeling Tatsuma close the space between them with a little nose bump, and something sounds like he is a bit salty about that, Sakamoto.
How you could just go where ever you please in what seemed like such a care free way and leave them behind.

—Leave him behind. ]</sub>

2.2

[bakudanma]

_{[ A faint, sideways smile plays on his face, though, and he turns his head to look at Sakamoto. ]}

Now it isn't that way, is it?
I have you right here with me.

[kaihentai]

[Before, there was Gintoki.

Perhaps it was foolish, nay, irresponsible to assume that one man could shoulder a burden as heavy as protecting the entire Earth. In the end he collapsed beneath it.

Zura has wanted to see the dawn of a new Japan for so long now, but Sakamoto is happy that the man is here on the ship with him. This way, he won't die bitter or angry.

They'll be together.]

You're holdin' up alright, aren'tcha? I'm glad you're sleepin' well.

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ He is holding up alright. As nostalgic and sentimental as Katsura could be, he could move on from things. Katsura realized that sometimes you had to move on from things.. though he would stubbornly try to change Japan if he was given another chance.

For now, being here and away from it was probably better for him.
Needless to say, he still tips his head downwards, looking a bit crestfallen. ]</sub>

A—Ah, you've noticed I've been sleeping better. I've noticed it too.. possibly I have been sleeping too much.
_{[ Oh.. right now might be the perfect time for him to bring something up. ]}

—Which got me to think.
_{[ He says this, but trails off. ]}

[kaihentai]

Ehhh, really?

[He's doing better than Sakamoto expected, and we all know that he's quite the optimist.

The smile on his face sure is something, right about now. Wide but not quite as wily or overbearing as his usual, more in his eyes than in his teeth. Sakamoto takes this moment to brush a few stray strands of hair from Zura's face, looking on attentively as he watches his friend stutter.]

What's up?

[bakudanma]

Uh.
_{[ Being positive to his hair is always a plus, and Zura lingers on that thought for a moment before swallowing. He doesn't know exactly how to say his thoughts, but he doesn't allow Sakamoto to even bare witness to any hesitance he may have. Katsura usually sounded calm and collected when he was like this. ]}

I shouldn't sleep as much as I have been.
It is healthy to be productive and do many things.

So, I have decided to work in your kitchen today. You will eat the food and I make and you will appreciate it, as the rest of your crew.
_{[ You don't get a choice. He isn't asking permission to. He is stating what he is going to do. ]}

[kaihentai]

Ohhh, I get it! Too much sleepin' can be bad too.

[Said all too quickly. The Kaientai accommodates, makes room for those who have none. While Sakamoto's notion that it's "just expanding business" is true to an extent, he and Mutsu do go the extra mile to find "work" for those who need a place to stay.

Even if the job is simple.]

Sure, sure! If that's what suits ya.

[Zura's... Desire to seize control isn't really of concern to Sakamoto. The crew is pretty good at ignoring orders (As they ignore Sakamoto all the time).]