bonercity | father's day special ; closed to john egberts

i have a lot of johns on my timeline and there aren't many dad players out there so here you guys go if you want to thread father's day with my dad muse.

prompts or sth
1. FATHER'S DAY ◄ ok just as it says it's father's day what you gonna do about it john. gonna bake that motherfucker a cake or what.
2. TRAINING WHEELS ◄ let's go back in time when john was a wee lad and dad is teaching him something new! could be riding a bike, baking a cake, leaning piano, whatevs.
3. GROUNDED ◄ even though they're like perf son and pop let's face it i bet they had some arguments about stuff so yeah here you go angry post right there.
4. THE TALK ◄ i'm not gonna do a john loves his daddy prompt so here is the closest thing i've got awkward growing up and/or sex talk whoop whoop.
5. ADVICE ◄ gotta problem or something maybe some snot nosed kids pushing you around a school do they really want to make dad angry and have the shit kicked out of them i think not-- or maybe he just needs friend/life advice idk i don't play john.
6. GOODBYE ◄ going to college going to school going to the bathroom who knows but we're saying goodbye now.
7. WHATEVS ◄ anything else YOU NAME IT...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[John stares at the slip of paper in his hand with a bit of distaste as he walks from the bus stop to his home.

Permission slip
SEX EDUCATION CLASSES

The teacher had handed them all out at the end of the day, explaining that parents could deny the child from taking these classes and... do some other kind of work. Really, he hadn't been paying attention. He'd been too busy doodling in his notebook at the time until the student in front of him thrust some papers in his face to take and pass to the student behind him.

When he enters his home, he calls for his dad, slumping into the kitchen and setting the sheet on the kitchen counter.]

Daaaaaaaad!

_{[ That was an exclamation of NEED. Typically when John came home from school he'd gladly announce his presence but this sounded a little more persistent. So have him flying out of the bathroom and walking downstairs at a quicker pace, though not precisely running. Thankfully, he's dressed himself down to just his slacks and white tee when he's settled at home. ]}

Hey champ! Is everything alright?

_{[ fuss fuss fuss-- going straight to him without missing a beat. ]}

[John headed straight to the fridge, head peeking in and seeking snacks. Where are the Oreos, man! Bluh, he isn't even in the mood for bananas and oranges. Maybe those fat free cheese sticks would be okay.]

There is a permission slip on the table. Um.

[Oh man! His dad is going to see the "SEX ED" thing at the top and it is going to be sooo awkward.]

I need to bring it back by the end of the week.

_{[ Oh, phew. Okay. Good. He watches John beeline to the fridge as usual, and as usual, he has to remind him: ]}

Don't eat too much or you won't have much room for dinner.

_{[ At that, he looks down at the permission slip and--
mother of God are we seriously going to have to do this-- it just, it him so suddenly. He was expecting to see something like this.. two.. maybe three years from now. Is John really that old?

Dad lifts the paper, looking it over. ]}

--I haven't missed a birthday or two of yours, have I?

[John groans an I knooooooow Dad, jeeeeez! as he takes out a single packet of string cheese and digs into it.]

No, you haven't. In fact, I think you remember my birthday before I even remember my birthday!!

Why?

Are you having a mid-life crisis, Dad?

_{[ Yes.
Dad slicks the side of his hair back (f u I play him with hair like in his icons ok), seeming a bit perplexed by the notice but-- ]}

I just didn't think they would begin pushing these sort of classes on somebody your age and I thought-- there was maybe the mistake you're older than I thought.

_{[ He shifts, putting the paper on the counter without signing it. ]}

John, how do you feel about this message?

Um.

[John peels a thick chunk of cheese and nibbles on it for a bit. Knowing better than to talk with this mouth full, he finishes it off before answering.]

I dunno.

Aren't you going to sign it?

Depends, John.

_{[ Oh, his voice is getting a bit more serious.
STAND BACK HE'S GETTING SERIOUS-- ]}

Do you think this is something you need to know about at your age?

Um!!!

[John just.

Shoves the whole cheese stick in his mouth. Then he points to his mouth to indicate that he just can't answer that question right now, Dad!!!]

Oh, sheesh.

_{[ Just.. mentally face palming here. ]}

Let me get my pipe and I'll meet you in the living room.

But why??

[John forgets his manners and talks with his mouth still half-full of half-chewed string cheese.

What is his dad going to do???

Why does signing this stupid thing have to be some huge debacle??

Oh man he'd prefer if he got a bad grade and had to get that signed instead.]

[Suspended from school? Really? It was just a harmless prank! The girl didn't even just get hurt, just a little super glue on her chair and a whole lot of reasons to be embarrassed once she tried to get up.

Of course the finger pointing rightfully went on John, the prankster of the class. He was pretty sure the principal already called his Dad anyways so there was actually no reason at all to avoid this. So when he gets home that afternoon and places the note on the table he is actually expecting some kind of stern fatherly talk about how pranking only goes on within the household.]

Before we start talking about this. I just want to let you know that being suspended for three days is a little much on the school's part! The only thing she lost was her pride, and maybe her backpocket.

_{[ Dad is there, already waiting for John at the door, foot tapping with his arms crossed. He merely glances at the note, aaaand-- ]}

Son. You know very well pranks are only really funny when it's between you and I, or possibly even the Striders.

_{[ because they're hilarious when you can get them real good. ]}

Absolutely not at school-- we've been over this!

[He sighs, loud and probably exaggerated.]

But Dad. You have no idea how much this particular prank had been calling to me. This is probably why you don't let rising high schoolers play with super glue. [It was banned from their own classroom now, good job John.]

So you're telling me if this hadn't have happened in school it would have been okay?

[okay so it's basically just music camp and they're not going to be away for THAT long, just most of the normal five school days. John's… kind of looking forward to it, but maybe a bit unsettled too. Which is dumb, it's not that long! But still. Feelings!

He hesitates, looking at the bag. He's pretty sure, but-]

Dad? Is there anything else I need?

father's day special ; closed to john egberts

THE TALK

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YOU DID NOT SEE THAT WHATSOEVER

Let's get our grounded on.

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uh let's go with goodbye…