His heart should be full, fuller than ever- And it is, isn't it? He is happy and content, his bed no longer feels cold at night, and the Kaientai isn't in the red today. But something is empty inside of him, and it isn't just his stomach, though that is growling too.
Sakamoto is seated at a table that is noisy as ever, the crew seems to have picked up several habits from their leader- Talking and laughing loudly are several men and women in green, gesturing wildly and making faces. Mutsu, however, has taken her place beside her captain, and is eyeing him cautiously over her shoulder. She hardly ever smiles, and at first glance, everything about her seems cold. Some days her face barely moves, but today her brow furrows slightly, an air of worry in her complexion.
The space merchant catches a glimpse of it. Ah, shit.]
Ahhhhh, man! I'm just so, soooo tired today! That's what I get, for gettin' up so early!
[Just by an hour or two. Still, he places his head in his hands, before shaking it this way and and that. How dramatic.]
[ He would start with the kitchen. He would work his way up until he was respected and admired in the kitchen, which was going to be a piece of cake, but it would take time and patience.. and a lot of planning. Katsura was good at this, but he would start with showing the rest of the cooks that his food is to be admired the most by the captain and he wouldn't reveal his secret. Sakamoto was his dear friend— now boyfriend— but in front of others, he made himself appear more as an employee under Sakamoto, which he didn't have much of a problem with.. just probably took his duties far too seriously.
He spent too long for the meal and said NOON SHARP but it was already going on quarter after twelve, so about this time he comes rushing down the aisle in the dining hall with a closed box in his hand all the way to the end of the hallway to where Sakamoto was seated.
"I'll show them to respect me."
Not like.. any of Sakamoto's crew was disrespecting him. Maybe he misunderstood that friendly slap on the shoulder by a cook as a sign of a challenge instead of a greeting of endearment. Maybe their words went over his head and he heard something entirely different. Very likely.
He puts the box down in front of Sakamoto before glancing at him. ]
Ah. Enjoy. [ he lifts the lid, and this is what is underneath it. ]
[The look on Sakamoto's face is such a dead giveaway.
Dark lenses may conceal his eyes, but the smile that washes over his face, growing wider and wider by the second, is enough to make his employees whisper amongst themselves. They have studied his many expressions, particularly how he looks on in admiration of their real captain, but this one is different. With her he looks as if he can't touch, but with Zura he looks as if he can, as if they have several times.
They share a room, which is strange, now that it's being brought into question. At first there was an excuse, their new crew member had been feeling sad and weak, and perhaps he would fare better in the company of a dear friend. But dear friends do not let their fingers linger on each other's hands, and they do not find any and every excuse to touch each other.]
Ohhhh~! Thank you. ♥
[Sakamoto does laugh when he sees the cat, obviously delighted.]
Woooow! The fellas in the kitchen must really be workin' hard.
[He mistakenly assumes that each meal is identical, that this much effort has been put into all the food. The men and women in green uniforms look confused for a moment, their meals are always something to look forward to, but perhaps he's simply encouraging his "friend."]
[ Katsura seems pleased himself that Sakamoto smiles at the dish he was given— he even tips his head in a slight bow. Zura always respected Sakamoto in one way or another.. maybe not a way that was as obvious as what he deserved, but now that he's technically Sakamoto's subordinate. His hands are folded neatly in front of him, as much as he would like to tip his hand over and brush his knuckles across Sakamoto's face— over his cheek and down to his jaw— he doesn't feel like he can do something like that right now with people watching.
Zura does, however, smile with his eyes and his lips. ]
It's not fellas, it's Katsura. [ He's been making all of that. ]
[Zura may not reach out to touch him, but Sakamoto feels the warmth of Zura's hands on his face anyway. A moment of silence can be a tender embrace, it all depends on the atmosphere, the looks exchanged between lovers.
[ Ohhh, that makes him so happy. Of course he did do a good job. Sakamoto can see him beaming at the compliment for a brief moment before he clears his throat. ]
Ah, thank you. The best you have had in years. The best that has been on this ship, correct?
[ That's not fair. Totally not fair. Especially when Katsura knows he already is Sakamoto's favorite. Well, kind of. He better be. He casts a slight glance at Mutsu, though, at the thought before looking back at Sakamoto. ]
I—I see. I shall just have to do better, then. Perhaps a cute puppy instead of a kitten next time. Whichever animal you would like. I could make you a Totoro if you would like instead.
[ He didn't seem too happy with that kind of answer, but you know. He has very high standards when it comes to his performance of things... and praise is definitely something that reflects on his work. ]
[As far as cooks go, Granny's the reigning champion.
His smirk only widens, as he catches that glance in Mutsu's direction. It's true, she's totally his competition- If asked to choose between then, he couldn't, he wouldn't! But to be fair, he hates those kinds of situations.
In his mind, everyone deserves to live- He'd save them all, if he could.]
What was that old saying? Ah! Yes, yes~! Rome wasn't built in a day, right?
It'll take time for you to climb the ranks. But, if ya keep workin' hard-
[Sakamoto whistles loudly, placing his hands behind his head.]
I.. ..didn't say anything about climbing any ranks..! [ DON'T JUST.. UNVEIL WHAT HE IS TRYING TO DO WITH PEOPLE LISTENING. A bit flustered, he keeps his posture straight as he begins to walk off, probably moving more briskly than he intended to.
He stammers out some sort of excuse as he goes: ]
There is more I have to get done..! More mouths to feed than just yours..! [ goodness gracious, he felt embarrassed. There really wasn't anything left for him to do besides clean up and organize, which was very important to him. Afterwards, he'll find some other task to accomplish. For some reason, he wanted to gain more favor in Sakamoto's eyes. ]
[ The last to eat? The last to eat. What was he to do? Should he have served the food once everyone was finished? Should he have waited to feed Sakamoto until hours later? Waited until dinner time to serve him lunch to be on the safe side?
He had to figure out a better plan. He almost speaks his mind, but decides not to in front of the rest, so he merely huffs: ]
I hope it is not too cute for you to eat. [ With his nose in the air, he disappears back into the kitchen to clean. ]
[Sakamoto reaches a hand out in an attempt to usher his friend back to the table, but it's no use, Zura heads back into the kitchen without heeding his warning. Sighing, Sakamoto sets his utensils down so he can follow the other man and insist that he have a bite to eat.]
Oh-ho. Now I've gone and made him mad.
[His get clank against the kitchen tiles, as he calls out:]
[ As stated, Zura is busy cleaning up the kitchen, so he doesn't put his attention on Sakamoto just yet, not even with the sound of his geta hitting the tiled floor nor his loud voice. He's by the sink, scrubbing at a dish before he glances over his shoulder.
Hmm. ]
I am finishing my duties as a good worker should without leaving a mess. Is there a problem with your food? Are the paws not big enough?
[ Katsura recognizes the importance of eating and does prioritize it, but he isn't accustomed to having people invite him to eat with them ever since the end of the war. It was usually just him and Eli, and with Eli gone, well. It was just weird.
Katsura scrubs the dish a little more, keeping his focus on his work. He appreciates the additional praise. Pulling back from the dish, he dries his hands off with a towel. He turns around and faces Sakamoto, looking up at him. ]
—Well, I suppose I can eat something with you if you absolutely want me to. Do you absolutely want me to? [ Don't milk this invitation like this, Zura. ]
Would it make your meal more enjoyable to have me there? [ pls stop trying to find more indication of being desired. ]
[Sakamoto can see the desperation in his eyes, that fierce need to be loved, to be reminded that he is important.
It is a desire he cannot resist, a fire he's fueled time and time again in the hearts of many. He opens his mouth and answers, honestly, but with a quiet intensity:]
[ There's a pause before Katsura answers, walking past him. ] I'll take time from my busy schedule to provide you my company, then.
[ Sakamoto doesn't see it, but he's smiling when he walks out of the kitchen and heads down the aisle, clearing his throat and forcing his lips to a straight line. However, by the time he reaches Sakamoto's seat, he realizes a problem. There was no seat for him. There was a gap that could maybe fit another chair, which he begins to look for. Once he finds an empty one, he asserts it in between Mutsu's seat (probably disrupting her eating time) and Sakamoto's seat before sitting down.
With a content hum, he gives Mutsu some kind of proud look before eyeing the rest of the food on the table. .. So this is what it was like to eat with a whole bunch of people. Katsura knew from eating with his followers but this seemed like a lot more people. Plus, he didn't always get a chance to sit down and eat with ALL of them. Sometimes they would be off doing their own tasks and eating where ever their feet took him.
[Neither Sakamoto nor Mutsu catch that look Zura gives the vice captain, and instead, the merchant chooses to finally chip away at his food. He has a limited amount of time after all, and must stay on schedule if he wants to knock all his deals out of the park today.
Still, "discipline" is something Sakamoto has never done very well, and today is no different. One would think that he is simply eating, with that innocent expression on his face and all, but one hand darts under the table when nobody notices.
One of Zura's legs should be close to his own, and he pinches whatever skin he can get between his fingers, not hard enough to bruise, but hard enough to be felt indeed.]
[ Katsura is just about to get started on the food that he has on his plate, not really paying attention to how his smile is growing— hearing the chatter of the crew men and their conversations, the clanking of utensils and just.. the abundance of people that seemed like a gigantic family. All he can think of is hearing his own chopsticks against his dish in a small house that seemed so big when he was the only little thing to live there.
What snaps him back to reality is the pinch of his thigh, causing an embarrassing squeak to erupt from his throat. It also Katsura's posture to straighten and his cheeks to burn as his jaw sets firm. Turning to Tatsuma, he gives him a warning kind of look. ]
Don't play with your food. [ Of course, Sakamoto wasn't doing anything of the sort, but he figures he just needs to say this to 1.) give Sakamoto a vocal scold of some kind, 2.) try and cover up Tatsuma's flirting from any crew that might have put their attention on them by the noise he made. ]
[Sakamoto simply laughs in response, shoulders heaving as he does. When he lets out that irritating sound, it's as though his entire body participates, and perhaps that's why he's just so loud. Even the dishes clank against the table, his knee jerks and it hits the wood from underneath.
Annoying as it is, that smile of his- On a dark day, it really is a ray of light.
He doesn't say anything, and he only shoves more rice into his mouth (messily, some grains stick to the side of it). But he does compensate somewhat by letting that wanton hand touch Zura again, more gently this time. Sakamoto slides his own rough palms over his friend's knuckles in some vague attempt at an apologetic gesture.]
[ He doesn't get what is so funny or why Sakamoto is laughing— and this is an ongoing thing. Sakamoto laughs, Katsura doesn't get it (sometimes, though, he does and he is the only person that does) but the warm hand wrapping over his typically cold, clammy fingers that rest underneath the table does make his heart beat happily as he eases a sigh out and closes his eyes for a moment.
This is so.. weird. He didn't think he would ever be holding hands with somebody like this on the down-low and in front of so many people. It's .. exciting and refreshing. A part of him wants to lean against Sakamoto and bury into his shoulder, take in his scent with each breath and just feel content.. but another part of him wants to appear strong and confident, here in front of other people. They don't need to see how happy he is about this.
His thumb rolls along the side of Sakamoto's hand in appreciation, a very small smile curving on his lips. ]
Or at least, it shouldn't be. Sakamoto had never imagined, even as a small child, that he could settle down with someone, with anyone, and have anything that vaguely resembled a normal relationship. The stranger thing, however, is that he doesn't fear it.
Stagnancy is a thing that he's come to despise- Of place, and of people. He can barely stand being on one planet for more than a few days, he must catch wind of the next place he'll be off to the moment he steps foot in it, because sitting still means standing still, or stopping altogether.
That is something he cannot afford to do, he must constantly be trudging forward.]
Yeah?
[And yet he is relieved, Zura is finally within reach, not even an elbow's length away from him. From the day he lost his ability to stand at their sides and call himself their equal, to ensure that doom and gloom had not seized their hearts entirely, he has believed in them but missed them all terribly.
Gintoki had been getting his life together, slowly, but surely- Sakamoto keeps from thinking about him any longer, it will hurt too much, and he will begin to cry. Takasugi is a goddamn bastard, and while the thing he did was unforgivable, it only confirms that the man is beyond help and that he's angry, hurt to the point of killing not himself but the next best thing.
At least this way, Zura will not die while he is in another galaxy. He will not feel lonely. Sakamoto tightens his grip on his beloved's hand, but soon-
[ It's something Katsura shouldn't get too attached to— uninterrupted bliss. With Sakamoto being such a busy and successful captain and salesman, it makes sense he is busy. Zura's smile easily disappears and draws into a thin line. He understands. Duties are important, but a sinking feeling of disappointing makes his stomach twist.
Katsura puts his hand that as holding Sakamoto's on the table as he holds his utensils, eyes watching his food and looking slightly crestfallen. ]
As you are, then, Sakamoto. [ ok but please don't be busy all the time.. ? don't leave him. ]
[He has to go, and quickly too, tugged at by an invisible thread (that happens to have been cast from Mutsu's eyes, look at that death glare!).]
Hold down the fort for me!
[Sakamoto claps a hand heartily onto Zura's shoulder, though it falters for a brief moment in time, squeezing hard but also lingering to caress whatever lies underneath all that fabric.]
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His heart should be full, fuller than ever- And it is, isn't it? He is happy and content, his bed no longer feels cold at night, and the Kaientai isn't in the red today. But something is empty inside of him, and it isn't just his stomach, though that is growling too.
Sakamoto is seated at a table that is noisy as ever, the crew seems to have picked up several habits from their leader- Talking and laughing loudly are several men and women in green, gesturing wildly and making faces. Mutsu, however, has taken her place beside her captain, and is eyeing him cautiously over her shoulder. She hardly ever smiles, and at first glance, everything about her seems cold. Some days her face barely moves, but today her brow furrows slightly, an air of worry in her complexion.
The space merchant catches a glimpse of it. Ah, shit.]
Ahhhhh, man! I'm just so, soooo tired today! That's what I get, for gettin' up so early!
[Just by an hour or two. Still, he places his head in his hands, before shaking it this way and and that. How dramatic.]
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Katsura was good at this, but he would start with showing the rest of the cooks that his food is to be admired the most by the captain and he wouldn't reveal his secret.
Sakamoto was his dear friend— now boyfriend— but in front of others, he made himself appear more as an employee under Sakamoto, which he didn't have much of a problem with.. just probably took his duties far too seriously.
He spent too long for the meal and said NOON SHARP but it was already going on quarter after twelve, so about this time he comes rushing down the aisle in the dining hall with a closed box in his hand all the way to the end of the hallway to where Sakamoto was seated.
"I'll show them to respect me."
Not like.. any of Sakamoto's crew was disrespecting him. Maybe he misunderstood that friendly slap on the shoulder by a cook as a sign of a challenge instead of a greeting of endearment. Maybe their words went over his head and he heard something entirely different. Very likely.
He puts the box down in front of Sakamoto before glancing at him. ]
Ah. Enjoy.
[ he lifts the lid, and this is what is underneath it. ]
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Dark lenses may conceal his eyes, but the smile that washes over his face, growing wider and wider by the second, is enough to make his employees whisper amongst themselves. They have studied his many expressions, particularly how he looks on in admiration of their real captain, but this one is different. With her he looks as if he can't touch, but with Zura he looks as if he can, as if they have several times.
They share a room, which is strange, now that it's being brought into question. At first there was an excuse, their new crew member had been feeling sad and weak, and perhaps he would fare better in the company of a dear friend. But dear friends do not let their fingers linger on each other's hands, and they do not find any and every excuse to touch each other.]
Ohhhh~! Thank you. ♥
[Sakamoto does laugh when he sees the cat, obviously delighted.]
Woooow! The fellas in the kitchen must really be workin' hard.
[He mistakenly assumes that each meal is identical, that this much effort has been put into all the food. The men and women in green uniforms look confused for a moment, their meals are always something to look forward to, but perhaps he's simply encouraging his "friend."]
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Zura does, however, smile with his eyes and his lips. ]
It's not fellas, it's Katsura.
[ He's been making all of that. ]
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His heart feels as though it's returning to him.]
Well, Katsura.
[Said facetiously.]
Looks like you did a good job.
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Ah, thank you. The best you have had in years.
The best that has been on this ship, correct?
[ yes asspat him more in front of your crew. ]
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Oh? I wouldn't go that far.
I'm the captain, you know? I'm not supposed ta play favorites.
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Well, kind of. He better be. He casts a slight glance at Mutsu, though, at the thought before looking back at Sakamoto. ]
I—I see.
I shall just have to do better, then. Perhaps a cute puppy instead of a kitten next time. Whichever animal you would like. I could make you a Totoro if you would like instead.
[ He didn't seem too happy with that kind of answer, but you know. He has very high standards when it comes to his performance of things... and praise is definitely something that reflects on his work. ]
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His smirk only widens, as he catches that glance in Mutsu's direction. It's true, she's totally his competition- If asked to choose between then, he couldn't, he wouldn't! But to be fair, he hates those kinds of situations.
In his mind, everyone deserves to live- He'd save them all, if he could.]
What was that old saying? Ah! Yes, yes~! Rome wasn't built in a day, right?
It'll take time for you to climb the ranks. But, if ya keep workin' hard-
[Sakamoto whistles loudly, placing his hands behind his head.]
Maybe that day'll come sooner than you think.
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[ DON'T JUST.. UNVEIL WHAT HE IS TRYING TO DO WITH PEOPLE LISTENING. A bit flustered, he keeps his posture straight as he begins to walk off, probably moving more briskly than he intended to.
He stammers out some sort of excuse as he goes: ]
There is more I have to get done..! More mouths to feed than just yours..!
[ goodness gracious, he felt embarrassed. There really wasn't anything left for him to do besides clean up and organize, which was very important to him.
Afterwards, he'll find some other task to accomplish. For some reason, he wanted to gain more favor in Sakamoto's eyes. ]
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[That is the way to gain his respect- To care for people other than himself.]
That's what's important. Aaaa, Zura! There's somethin' you should know... As the captain-
[Sakamoto lets out a laugh, shoulders shaking as he does. Zura may not have noticed, but the crew has been eyeing him a little strangely.]
I'm usually the last to eat.
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He had to figure out a better plan.
He almost speaks his mind, but decides not to in front of the rest, so he merely huffs: ]
I hope it is not too cute for you to eat.
[ With his nose in the air, he disappears back into the kitchen to clean. ]
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[Sakamoto reaches a hand out in an attempt to usher his friend back to the table, but it's no use, Zura heads back into the kitchen without heeding his warning. Sighing, Sakamoto sets his utensils down so he can follow the other man and insist that he have a bite to eat.]
Oh-ho. Now I've gone and made him mad.
[His get clank against the kitchen tiles, as he calls out:]
Yo! Zuraaaa! Whatcha doin' in here?
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Hmm. ]
I am finishing my duties as a good worker should without leaving a mess.
Is there a problem with your food? Are the paws not big enough?
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They were very cute.
[He can afford to be a little more candid in private.]
Man, and the attention to detail! Impeccable! Truly, impeccable. Ahaha...
[Softly, he utters a few words. While his tone is gentle, gentle indeed, there's an urgency in his voice.]
You won't amount to much if you don't eat with us, right? Take a break! Have a bite. It doesn't matter how hard ya work, if ya don't recharge!
Come sit.
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Katsura scrubs the dish a little more, keeping his focus on his work. He appreciates the additional praise.
Pulling back from the dish, he dries his hands off with a towel. He turns around and faces Sakamoto, looking up at him. ]
—Well, I suppose I can eat something with you if you absolutely want me to.
Do you absolutely want me to?
[ Don't milk this invitation like this, Zura. ]
Would it make your meal more enjoyable to have me there?
[ pls stop trying to find more indication of being desired. ]
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It is a desire he cannot resist, a fire he's fueled time and time again in the hearts of many. He opens his mouth and answers, honestly, but with a quiet intensity:]
Yes.
Very much.
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I'll take time from my busy schedule to provide you my company, then.
[ Sakamoto doesn't see it, but he's smiling when he walks out of the kitchen and heads down the aisle, clearing his throat and forcing his lips to a straight line.
However, by the time he reaches Sakamoto's seat, he realizes a problem. There was no seat for him. There was a gap that could maybe fit another chair, which he begins to look for. Once he finds an empty one, he asserts it in between Mutsu's seat (probably disrupting her eating time) and Sakamoto's seat before sitting down.
With a content hum, he gives Mutsu some kind of proud look before eyeing the rest of the food on the table.
.. So this is what it was like to eat with a whole bunch of people. Katsura knew from eating with his followers but this seemed like a lot more people. Plus, he didn't always get a chance to sit down and eat with ALL of them. Sometimes they would be off doing their own tasks and eating where ever their feet took him.
But this.. had a very home-like feeling to it.]
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Still, "discipline" is something Sakamoto has never done very well, and today is no different. One would think that he is simply eating, with that innocent expression on his face and all, but one hand darts under the table when nobody notices.
One of Zura's legs should be close to his own, and he pinches whatever skin he can get between his fingers, not hard enough to bruise, but hard enough to be felt indeed.]
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What snaps him back to reality is the pinch of his thigh, causing an embarrassing squeak to erupt from his throat. It also Katsura's posture to straighten and his cheeks to burn as his jaw sets firm.
Turning to Tatsuma, he gives him a warning kind of look. ]
Don't play with your food.
[ Of course, Sakamoto wasn't doing anything of the sort, but he figures he just needs to say this to 1.) give Sakamoto a vocal scold of some kind, 2.) try and cover up Tatsuma's flirting from any crew that might have put their attention on them by the noise he made. ]
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Annoying as it is, that smile of his- On a dark day, it really is a ray of light.
He doesn't say anything, and he only shoves more rice into his mouth (messily, some grains stick to the side of it). But he does compensate somewhat by letting that wanton hand touch Zura again, more gently this time. Sakamoto slides his own rough palms over his friend's knuckles in some vague attempt at an apologetic gesture.]
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This is so.. weird.
He didn't think he would ever be holding hands with somebody like this on the down-low and in front of so many people. It's .. exciting and refreshing. A part of him wants to lean against Sakamoto and bury into his shoulder, take in his scent with each breath and just feel content.. but another part of him wants to appear strong and confident, here in front of other people. They don't need to see how happy he is about this.
His thumb rolls along the side of Sakamoto's hand in appreciation, a very small smile curving on his lips. ]
Much better.
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Or at least, it shouldn't be. Sakamoto had never imagined, even as a small child, that he could settle down with someone, with anyone, and have anything that vaguely resembled a normal relationship. The stranger thing, however, is that he doesn't fear it.
Stagnancy is a thing that he's come to despise- Of place, and of people. He can barely stand being on one planet for more than a few days, he must catch wind of the next place he'll be off to the moment he steps foot in it, because sitting still means standing still, or stopping altogether.
That is something he cannot afford to do, he must constantly be trudging forward.]
Yeah?
[And yet he is relieved, Zura is finally within reach, not even an elbow's length away from him. From the day he lost his ability to stand at their sides and call himself their equal, to ensure that doom and gloom had not seized their hearts entirely, he has believed in them but missed them all terribly.
Gintoki had been getting his life together, slowly, but surely- Sakamoto keeps from thinking about him any longer, it will hurt too much, and he will begin to cry. Takasugi is a goddamn bastard, and while the thing he did was unforgivable, it only confirms that the man is beyond help and that he's angry, hurt to the point of killing not himself but the next best thing.
At least this way, Zura will not die while he is in another galaxy. He will not feel lonely. Sakamoto tightens his grip on his beloved's hand, but soon-
"Sakamoto."
Mutsu speaks.
"We have to go."]
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Katsura puts his hand that as holding Sakamoto's on the table as he holds his utensils, eyes watching his food and looking slightly crestfallen. ]
As you are, then, Sakamoto.
[ ok but please don't be busy all the time.. ?
don't leave him. ]
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Hold down the fort for me!
[Sakamoto claps a hand heartily onto Zura's shoulder, though it falters for a brief moment in time, squeezing hard but also lingering to caress whatever lies underneath all that fabric.]
I'll be seein' you later.