1) Whenever I am hungover, I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
2) You kept running across the street. Every time you made it across successfully, you took something off. I cannot believe there were no cops around...
3) My brother was crawling his way home and kept asking me to carry him, then he insisted on grabbing at my ankles until he passed out. How was your night?
4) I apologize. I did not make it out. I got distracted by sparkly boobies.
3 and i'm not apologizing
2) You kept running across the street. Every time you made it across successfully, you took something off. I cannot believe there were no cops around...
3) My brother was crawling his way home and kept asking me to carry him, then he insisted on grabbing at my ankles until he passed out. How was your night?
4) I apologize. I did not make it out. I got distracted by sparkly boobies.
5) [or if you have a better one]